So every one’s supposed to be monogamous, right? That’s the general rule when in a relationship, especially a marriage. So why then does monogamy seem so hard to make work?
In an earlier post I wrote about Tiger Woods past indiscretions. The other day I heard that Jesse James has been cheating on Sandra Bullock for some 11 months or so.
It’s funny that most guys seem to take the “is he crazy, he cheated on Sandra Bullock” approach. Not quite the same response I heard from friends when Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston, probably because it was with Angelina Jolie. Most guys gave him a pass for that, their thinking being he traded up! I especially love the celebrity marriages. Yeah, these always stand the test of time!
The point I am trying to make is these guys don’t cheat to be with someone “better” or “prettier”. Just look at the other woman in most public affairs that are uncovered. Most of those other women are downright gnarly looking. These men just get caught up in the celebrity that they are and ride the wave. Last week on WFAN radio in New York, Craig Carton spoke out about why he thinks these guys do what they do so often. He basically said that most men would do the same thing if they had such power of celebrity. That it is just too easy because women fall all over them and the power goes to their head and nothing else matters.
It basically boils down to ego and the rush you get from the attention you are being given. At some point in every guy’s life his relationship will be tested. The men that fail can not control their ego, and the wave they are riding. Nothing else matters to them, not then and especially not later, no matter what they say when they get caught. That’s why these guys keep doing the same thing over and over. There isn’t a force on earth (other than drugs) that I know of that can make a man cheat. He makes the choice, plain and simple.
Monogamy only exists for men who make the effort. The men who put other things from their relationship before their own ego. It also helps to have a partner who recognizes that our ego plays a large part in how satisfied we are sexually. Men need constant reminders that their partner is interested in them, excited by them and happy with them sexually. That is why so many men wind up cheating after children are brought into the relationship. They become ghosts to their partners, and at some point they find those things that they lost, in another woman. That’s probably why so many celebrity marriages fail so often. They spend so little time with each other that the men can’t get those constant reminders from their wife so they look elsewhere. Why these women who marry them can’t figure this out by now is a mystery to me. Perhaps she believes she is different and he would never do that to her, after all she is Sandra Bullock!
“Perhaps she believes she is different and he would never do that to her, after all she is Sandra Bullock!”
Ego seems to be the common denominator, here.
By the way, would you please email this blog to my wife?! :>)
Another question then becomes– Why does the man with the huge ego, who constantly needs and succombs to flattering attention, make the choice to get married in the first place? Why not just “play the field”? Is it also a rush to hurt people? A relationship is at risk when either party focuses more on his or her own needs without considering the other’s. C’mon people! Marriage is a partnership between two souls not a sole proprietorship. Honor thy contract.
Boomerang- Excellent!!
I believe that many (speaking from a mans perspective) men truly believe that in order to complete their life, they must marry. Lets face it, from our earliest memories we can all recall at least one time when our parents or grandparents asked us when we were going to ” settle down”. They always made us feel like “playing the field” should only be a temporary thing and that marriage was the end all. It is actually worse if you are a woman because you feel much more pressure to marry than men do. Perhaps from your childhood you can recall being told you were a princess and that a prince would someday marry you and you would live happily ever after. And as you grew up, if you were over, say 25 yrs old, then your family began to worry that you would never get married and have those grandchildren your mom was waiting on. I think you can understand my point. Society makes us feel as if there is something wrong with us if we do not marry. Even though stats say that it is more than a 50-50 risk of it ending in divorce. So men marry and try to put their sex drive in a small box only to be opened on occasion and usually not as often as they had hoped for, in order to make a marriage work. To women this may sound pigheaded and absurd, but there is a lot of truth to it. When was the last time you heard a man say he has so much sex (in his marriage) that he has to tell the his wife to slow it down. Quite the opposite holds true. Men always complain that their wife doesn’t have as much sex with them as the would like. And whats funnier is that most wives feel nothing is wrong with the amount of sex in their relationship. So bottom line is this. Open communication channels and LISTEN to what each other expects, needs and desires and work it out…
Would you tell me where did you download your blog template ?
it is a wordpress template…search “deep silent” template