Archive for November, 2014

When someone dies

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

deathWhenever someone I know dies, like most,  I am saddened by the fact that I will never get to see or talk with them again. I also find that for days I can’t help but find myself thinking about my own death and how it will affect the people I know.

The human race generally doesn’t handle dying very well. We are all scared of it and even more scared to talk about it. No one knows quite the right way to talk to someone who is dying . We don’t know the right things to say as we fear that we will say something and it will invoke tears from that person. We walk on egg shells around them and weigh carefully the words we choose. After all, most of us feel that we can’t talk about anything fun or something in the future. Death is awkward and although it very well is, we should dive head first into it  and make sure we tell that person just how much they are loved and will be missed.

I think I realize now why I have been so scared of dying. At first I thought I would miss everyone but then after thinking about it, I ‘m dead so how can I miss anything. Then I thought about all I would leave behind and the things I could no longer do and then again I realized that all those things that I have been doing my whole life has been nothing but repetition. I wake, dress, eat , work, play, shower and sleep. I laugh, cry , hate and love. I collect things, way too many things, all of which are just for material pleasure. But its all just repetition everyday until we get ill or die. Nothing so different. And then it hit me. I fear that I will not leave my mark here on earth. I fear that my life would pass and no one would notice. Wouldn’t it be great to have been Abraham Lincoln. He lives on in almost every Americans life. He’s touched millions of people. His life meant something.

When people die its sad that the world doesn’t stop for one moment to recognize the loss. Life goes on like nothing happens. But then, as I always do, I think about it and when I do, I see that we all do matter. Maybe not on such a grand scale as Lincoln but to the few loved ones in our lives we leave our mark. They will remember our laughter, and sorrow, the good times and bad. The pictures of us will remind them who we were and what we meant to them. Songs will play and bring tears to our eyes in remembrance of a moment we shared when that song played.

I have lost a handful of people in my life that left a mark on me. Some of whom I never got the chance to tell just what they meant to me, but others who I was able to spend enough time with in the end to tell them just how much they touched and shaped my life. If there is one thing that I would hope for when I am dying, is that the people I know would come to me not in pity but to rejoice my life and what it meant to them. I need to know that my life meant something. That I was put here for a reason and that its okay to die because this world was a better place because of me.

I once read a book named “Tuesdays with Morrie”. For anyone who has ever read its inspirational words, you know just how remarkable Morrie was. For those who haven’t, it is about one mans dying wish to tell the world or whoever would listen, how he felt about love, life, friends, and especially dying. Stricken with ALS and doomed to a slow deliberating death, Morrie chose to allow the world to watch as his body fails him more and more until finally he passes. The story however shows us not to fear death but to make each moment until the end mean something. Share your feelings with loved ones. Tell them how you felt your whole life and what your life meant to you and how they helped shape the person you became.

I once wrote a letter to a dying friend. I didn’t know how to tell her what I wanted to and then she became too sick to have visitors but her daughter told me she would make sure that she received my words. I wanted her to know that her life meant something to me. That I appreciated all the things we shared over the years and how I was thankful for the way she treated me. That she was a friend that I would truly miss but would remember for the rest of my life. I wanted her to know that spending time with her made me a better person than I would have been if we never met. I wanted to make sure that she knew before she passed, how much she touched my life.

Just recently our family lost a very close friend. I didn’t know him as well as my sister did for she was who introduced him to our family some 25 years ago. However, over the last year or so I often sat one on one with him and talked politics, sports, business and such but one thing stood out more than anything else and it was the reason I cared so much for him. He spoke of my sister and how much he loved her and how important she was to him. How he would do anything for her because she was a special woman and he recognized how hard she worked for her children, husband and how little she asked for in return. His dying hurt my sister badly but I am sure that in his last days they spent meaningful time together and hopefully shared how much they meant to each other. Truly the way it should be.

Dying should not scare loved ones away. It should be embraced as a time for closure and celebration of that persons life, for after they pass, it will be too late to share those feelings together.

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

 

 

Saginaw Expandable Table with Watertown Slides

Sunday, November 16th, 2014

IMG_20141111_135958 IMG_20141111_140010 IMG_20141111_135902 IMG_20141111_140026

These are pictures of my table that I am trying to find info on.the last picture shows the back end where a folding leaf is attached. It had pocket hinges that were broken .It also has three leafs for expanding the table …Any help would be appreciated..Thank you

Old Guys Rule!

Wednesday, November 5th, 2014

I am now at a time in my life when hanging out with 70 year old men is more of the norm, than hanging with 30 year old men. It happens quickly, seamlessly and more strangely, as a welcome change.

I used to joke to my wife about how old men are more friendly and approachable than old women. Men always seem happier and more apt to strike up a conversation whereas women seem to busy and preoccupied with hair and nails. Well maybe not just hair and nails but it’s something that is on their minds.  I believe it goes back to how men never really change even as they age. We actually become more like we were when we were young the older we get.

I’ve begun to seek out older guys. They always have something interesting to talk about and I always learn something from them. Old guys now have time for hobbies so many of them go back to collecting cars as  pastime. Sports are always on the table and if you are a diehard fan it doesn’t get better than to talk to a someone from the 40’s or 50’s. To hear them talk about a life we can only imagine. A simpler time when radio broadcasts were as groundbreaking an event as streaming video is today.  Their colorful recap of the past is especially amazing since they only had their ears to rely on for a picture of what was happening.

I love cars. I really love the old ones especially because they remind me of my past.  Yesterday, I took a motorcycle ride on a beautiful fall day, to seek out a 1969 Camaro that is for sale in my town. Lo and behold I found myself in a scene from one of today’s car reality shows. I arrive and as I ride down a long driveway, I am waved on by a woman who I would later meet as one of the owners of the Camaro. As I continue along, I see a huge garage, a fifty foot monster lined with doors, just behind the house I am passing, and in front is an older man directing me where to park.

In my head I am thinking that this is going to be an experience that one hears about like urban legends. As I dismount I can’t help but to laugh to myself because I am approaching a part of automobile heaven. Then I think this could go one of two ways. This man could be a really cool car guy or he could be a real pompous ass who just loves to show off his toys. Luck today, would shine as strong as the sun on me for he was a cool car guy.

Now here is why old guys rule. This gentleman and I spoke for over an hour and a half about everything from how he grew up to how he acquired the 25 or so cars and motorcycles that we toured through that day. Each car and bike had a very detailed history that he was very eager to share with me. The part that pulls me in every time is the passion you can sense when they talk about their life and how it has intertwined with their vehicles over all these years. Walking through all the cars, batteries, lifts, tools and parts you can’t help but think this man is a hoarder so we joke about all the unfinished projects that he knows will never get done. At some point I felt myself being drawn into this mans life. I envisioned spending my days off from work, helping him pull parts and shine up the cars and organize his garage which he definitely can’t do on his own any longer. Being 76 yrs old, he made it clear that he’s run out of steam and lost his motivation to see anything from start to finish. I told him he needed someone to get his juices flowing again. Not wanting to spook him, I held back volunteering to get my hands dirty after just meeting him but I will most surely return another day to drop that idea on him. Being that he has a son that doesn’t share his interest in cars, he needs someone to reignite that spark.  I couldn’t help but to tell him how cool I thought it was that he could just come out here everyday, crank his radio up and hang out in that huge man cave of a garage he has. He laughed and agreed that it was the best part of his day to just go out there and hang around in the mess he’s accumulated for some 30 years.

When I was younger, my friends and I would gather in someones garage, work on our cars  and play music, laugh and break each others chops for hours, all with out a care in the world. Now as I have reached the other end of my lifeline, I can see why men find their way back to the garage. There is something very nostalgic about old age and cars that makes it one of life’s more enjoyable moments. Men don’t change. We take breaks now and then to raise children, stress over our jobs and try to find ways to make our wives happy. But that old car guy is  in there somewhere, just waiting for his moment to go back in time and do the things he loved.  The things that helped to shape his life and made him the person he is today. Old Guys do rule!!!!

Just one man’s opinion..

The Regular Guy