I went to PNC to see John Mayer last night. Sound was OK but loud. I couldn’t really hear vocals clearly yet the crowd knew every word and they were ready to party. Now to my point. It was like eye candy. Young high school and college girls all tan, wearing short shorts, tank tops or sundresses, laced with coconut tan lotion and smelling great. As men, we are so turned on by that and the girls just strut their stuff without thought. They hang in groups, laugh, giggle and boy watch. So my question is” does anyone wonder why young girls so often get pregnant or date raped?”  Don’t the parents of these young women check out what their daughter is wearing and educate them on what message they are sending to men of ALL ages, prior to them going out in public? As fathers, we know what men think when they see this, and we should insist that our daughters don’t make this mistake, even if  innocent, by dressing in this manner. Temptation is always present and most men know their limitations, both morally and legally, but unfortunately some don’t, and these are the ones who young girls need to be aware of. It’s as if the girls play this head game, but they know exactly what they are doing. It was like a boob-fest. Hang them out but if a man looks he’s a jerk or pervert. There was a time when this was inappropriate behavior and society, let alone parents, would not accept this from young ladies. Add alcohol to this equation and now you have the perfect setting for trouble. Parents seem to have forgotten just how naive we were at this age and how important, especially in today’s world it is to be aware of the message our young people are putting out there. My feeling is this is just one more example of how liberal and accepting our nation has become.

a High School senior on her way to the prom( See The Dress That Got A High-School Senior Arrested

A few weeks back I was watching my favorite sport, Major League Baseball, on television when a foul ball was struck by the batter into the right field stands. The right fielder on my “not-so-favorite” team these days, drifted over to attempt the catch. The ball barely made it into the stands and suddenly, a fan and his son who were merely minding their own business while watching the game were thrust into controversy. It seems the man, we will later find out, was simply trying to enjoy a baseball game with his son and give him a father-and-son experience that most young boys savor when they are ten years old.

Anyway, back to the ball going into the stands…  As luck would have it the ball came closer and closer to this man and his unsuspecting son. The man looked up, as all the other fans in the ballpark did, and he noticed the ball heading directly for his 10-year-old son who was standing by his side.  As we all would do, the man tuned out the rest of the world (about forty thousand screaming fans).  He raised his arms in expectation of catching this little white prize falling out of the sky directly toward his naïve offspring.

Unexpectedly, a big baseball glove entered his field of vision and hence the controversy began. It seems the competitive right fielder decided to reach into the stands to try to catch the ball. Nothing wrong with that you say?  Well on the surface I tend to agree, except for what ensued after the catch was attempted.

As you may have already guessed the right fielder and the man collided in their attempts to capture the soaring white object.

This is where the story takes an ugly turn. It seems the right fielder was so dismayed about not being able to complete his gallant effort that a bit of anger bubbled up. He looked at the man and one can only surmise that he didn’t notice the young boy next to him. Let’s give the player the benefit of the doubt and say he did NOT observe the father-son team. The player, in venting his frustration at having not caught the ball, suddenly let a (no pun intended) foul expletive fly.

“Get the F_ _ _ out of the way,” exclaimed the right fielder, directing his anger at the perplexed dad.

What happened next is rather disconcerting to say the least. The player walked away in disgust, shaking his head in frustration. The dad threw his arms up in embarrassment, and the son sat down, looking as if he wished he could hide, he was so obviously embarrassed.

Now the crowd started to get into the act. Many people started booing the poor man and jeering at him and his son.

Let’s forget the fact that this play had no immediate effect on the game and would not affect the eventual outcome either. Of course there was no way for the right fielder and the ignorant fans to know that at the time, so many decided to chastise a poor man who was just trying to have a nice outing with his son.

Let’s try and forget the ignorant fans for a moment. They have the right to act like immature and ignorant idiots, correct? After all they paid for their tickets and certainly have the right to act any way they like.

Let’s concentrate on the right fielder and examine his moral obligation as a professional athlete. Ok, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he lost his temper in the heat of a competitive moment. Once this happened though, does he have an obligation to offer an apology?

Consider who may have been affected by his deplorable action! Obviously the man involved was made to feel like less of a man in the eyes of his son and to the fans around him. Possibly other children heard the expletive and were affected as well.

Does this player have any values or morals? Did he return to the man and his boy and offer them an apology or a peace offering, like an offer to sign a ball and present it to the young boy to make things right?

I would suggest that this player isn’t really a professional at all nor does he appear to be much of a man. Actually, to this observer, the player appears to be an immature jerk. Is he so caught up in his own career aspirations and professional frustrations that he chooses to ignore societal norms?  Where’s the public outcry to demand that this player “right his wrong” and offer an apology to the fans in general?

In my humble opinion he is not only obligated to offer an apology, he should also sensor himself with some sort of self-imposed penalty.  Maybe contact the father and son and offer them tickets to be his guest at a future game. Show the world that he takes his professional career and child role-model status seriously.

And what about those fans who thought it either funny or serious to chastise the father?

Most of us have done stupid things we’d take back in a minute after having the time to ponder them. Personally, when that’s happened for me, I’ve learned that I owe an apology to those I’ve affected. I’m not one to preach, I’m simply one that has learned from my own mistakes and understands the damage one’s actions can have.

I think the behavior this baseball player and many fans demonstrated during this incident has become all too common in our world today. Could some good old fashioned values and morals be revisited, even promoted, as a way to fix what has become wrong in our lives today?

As a side note to this story, the man was contacted by a popular local radio sports talk show to be interviewed because this story had become a national media event. It was explained by the talk show host that in conversation with the man before doing the live interview, he learned the dad was somewhat shy and didn’t really feel comfortable with all the media attention and scrutiny, but despite this had agreed to do the interview anyway.  The man was clearly humbled by the experience. He went on to explain that as a season ticket holder, he was upset that this event would impact future games that he and his son would attend and possibly feel strange around other season ticket holders in his section.

Is this fair? Again doesn’t the ball player have some obligation to right this wrong? For that matter doesn’t the team have a sense of obligation to appreciate this innocent fan? Shouldn’t the team feel a desire to talk to the player, even if strictly from a public relations view, no less a moral one? Have we really lost a sense of what is right and wrong in our lives when we simply let this eruptive behavior pass without any sort of reckoning for those who present it?

From this writer–   I have lost complete respect for this player and the team for which he plays.

Men don’t do well with gifts. I can understand now what my dad went through all those years for birthdays and Christmas. How hard it must have been for him to smile when inside he was probably thinking” What the hell am I going to do with this singing fish?”

Men don’t do well with gifts especially when women buy them. Not always but most often true, women don’t get us in life, so picking gifts for us is just nuts. Most of us have everything we want, unless its too expensive to buy, which means we aren’t going to get that as a gift from someone else!

So what do you buy for the Regular guy? Probably nothing. Unless you pay attention to what he does in life and especially in his spare time, then nothing works better that a gift card.

In closing, perhaps an example of such a tragic gift story would be fitting. This is what happens when, not one, but two women engage in what they believe is the perfect gift for yours truly.

At some time in my past I mentioned that I always wanted a small pair of binoculars. One that I could easily carry, you know, like to the beach to check out bikini clad women ( What? Were you thinking I was going to say for a sporting event!). So armed with this information, my wife sets out to buy me the gift I always wanted!  UNFORTUNATELY, she shopped at a store that a woman she knows owns and this woman proceeded to talk her out of the small pair of binoculars. She instead, thought that a singular monocular would be much better for me. So, that Christmas, I got half the gift I always wanted!!

To be honest, in the end I did get my binoculars about two years and three gift occasions later but I figure you get the point. This past year I started a list with details like brand names, model numbers, colors, and even a contact person from which to buy these gifts. Not bad huh? Get to it guys……Merry Christmas!

Just one man’s opinion…

The Regular Guy

After dropping my card and promising on my last visit to post my review, I have finally found the time to do so.

After some 20 years of eating at Bill’s diner, I guess its about time I posted why I have been such a fan of his place for so long.

How about a list. Yes, just like David Letterman’s top ten list.

10. Location. At the north tip of Long Beach Island and tucked away from everyone except the local faithfuls and summer tourists.

9. The smell of the salt air and nearby bay make it pleasurable even when waiting during the summer months for a table.

8. The tables in the back room are the coolest. Its like eating in your grandma’s back porch when everyone else has to eat at the kitchen table.

7. The menus on the wall and in your hand offer too many choices that make it too damn hard to decide what to order.

6. The waitresses are the best, the friendliest and the prettiest on the island and the serve up the food faster than you can finish your first cup of coffee.

5. The coffee cup is ALWAYS full.

4. Everything tastes like it was just made, which is exactly how it should be.

3. The kitchen staff has worked together for many, many years and they always serve the food the same way, everyday, which is the hardest thing to accomplish in the restaurant business. CONSISTANCY!!!!

2. The diner is a landmark ( or should be) and no one else on LBI received a visit from Guy Fieri, of my favorite food show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Hats off to you Bill!!

and the number one reason…

1. Mustache Bill’s omelets and pancakes are quite simply the BEST on LBI and the surrounding area. I have my own omelet which should have a name by now since Vinny and I perfected its makeup some three or four years ago…We start with the Potato Skin omelet which has potatoes, scallions, bacon and cheddar cheese and then we ask for HOT peppers to be added. Dress it up with salsa, sour cream and a short stack of ‘cakes and the next meal you can expect to want is dinner. Bill has perfected the omelet and no where will you find one that is fluffier and filled better.

You can expect only the best when you visit Mustache Bill’s so get up early, put the top down and head over to LBI and enjoy the best breakfast this area has to offer.

The Regular Guy rating * * * *

Mustache Bill’s Diner

W 8th St and Broadway
Barnegat Light, NJ 08006

Hey, that's just not a safe riding style....

For those of you who never saw the movie “Wild Hogs”, you should if you want a good start to understanding why men ride motorcycles.

I can remember being a child and what my first impressions of motorcycling were. The thing I most remember is my moms cousins and their “motorcycle garage” behind their house. Back in the sixties cut up choppers were the thing to have and at any given time you would see a large variety of them at their garage.

As a child, you can not help to feel awe at the sight of tattooed men with all that iron and noise around them.  Even at this age I still find myself in awe, at times, when I am surrounded by motorcycles. It’s like being in the wild west without the guns.

But even though I have always had a love of motorcycles, it wasn’t until I reached forty or so that I truly appreciated what it does to enhance my life.

Having a motorcycle in itself doesn’t necessarily bring excitement and adventure. It is with whom and what you do with it, that makes motorcycling a great thing. Nothing else exemplifies this more than owning and riding a Harley Davidson. It is like belonging to a club with out walls and rules. It’s a fraternity with out the hazing.

The absolute best reason for riding is the people you meet and become friends with. Someone tagged it “male bonding” but I think that’s a load of commercial crap. Yeah we all get along, but I always think of bonding like a bunch of men sitting around singing Kum Ba Yah. That just isn’t happening. What happens is that the motorcycle becomes the common denominator that brings together men of all backgrounds. Doctors, lawyers, chefs, Realtors, electricians and so on, just wanting to do one thing. Experience life through simple transportation and being able to share that with someone else who can understand it.

A lot of people always ask me why we get together to take a trip and ride for hundreds of miles a day.  They think its boring because you have no one to talk to, like you would in a car. They can’t understand what reason we would have to go to Ohio, for instance. What could possibly be a reason to ride there. This is the one thing people don’t really understand about motorcycling unless they ride one. The trips aren’t about the ride itself but the friendships that come from them. The best part of the ride is always at night when you pull into a new town, and go out for a steak, some drinks, and laugh your ass off about the events that took place that day. There aren’t any phone calls from work, no bills to pay today, no kids to drive to soccer, nothing but you and that bike and your friends.

I just spent the better part of four days on a ride that rolled up 1200 miles. On that trip I got to spend time with my uncle, that I probably would never have done with out our motorcycles. We were all drenched in rain that was so heavy, we had to dry our boots on the heaters in the hotel rooms. I smelled the aroma of at least 12 different things that I would have missed if I were in a car. I got to act like a college kid again, when we all did shots of Vodka in a small cafe in State College Pa. I experienced roller coaster excitement on rte 322, where roads were cut out of the sides of mountains that were so steep that trucks had to ride their brakes just not to crash.

There’s a saying bikers have, “Ride to Live, Live to Ride.” which just about sums it all up. At no point in my life have I ever felt as alive or as free as I do when I ride.

So here’s to my friends “The Mild Hogs” and to another safe and successful trip…

The Regular Guy

Now you both aren’t talking. Well you talk but the words aren’t the same. They are short and given without intent to provide honest conversation. Even touching each other is awkward when it used to be natural. Almost as if you both forgot how its done.

Saying I love you now, is like giving in, when at a time like this, it is when it’s needed most. It’s been written that love meant never having to say you were sorry. Well men, that is not true.

Saying your sorry, especially when you feel that your side of the rift is the correct one, is the only way out of this mess. The problem is that it is always you that has to be the one to do it, in order for things to be normal again.

As hard as it is to always have to be the one to say “I’m sorry”, its even harder to live with the fact that you always give up what  you believe in just to keep the peace.

Maybe its just part of being a man. Maybe because our feelings can be hurt or we can be upset and then just move on. Start over when things are said and done like nothing happened. After all most men argue and then have a beer and its all forgotten. I guess it just isn’t that easy for women.

So now it’s just a matter of how long you decide to let this linger before you break the ice and clear the air, because you know she’s not going to do it. It’s really unfortunate that it has to come to this especially when you both know that the what caused this wasn’t even serious.

So with mop in hand, it’s time to clean up the mess you helped create.

Funny thing is that once its all cleaned up, it’s like it never happened. Back to hugs, back to kisses, back to meaningful conversation…..

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

The Horizon Diner is one of the oldest businesses in town. Some years back, the diner was renovated by a previous owner and is now more up to date than its original self. Although the previous owner did most of the updates, credit must be given to the new owner for the upgraded food and service.

Today’s visit offered both good food and some exceptional service. It has always been one of my pet peeves that most restaurants won’t accommodate a request for something special.  Diners however, are usually very capable and willing to prepare a dish not on its menu pages.

I like omelets with a lot going on inside, so I asked for one with cheddar and bacon with sauteed scallions and jalapenos, not too brown ( well done is a no no ) and sides of salsa and sour cream. Our waitress was a real pleasure too as she didn’t flinch when I preceded to rap off everything I wanted. She actually played along very well with the kidding we gave her during the placement of our orders.

All in all the food was done just right and we all had a good time, which is the way it should be when going out to eat.

The Regular Guy rating  * * *

The Horizon Diner

Bay Ave Manahawkin NJ 08050

(609) 597-4771

Not only has she worked on and helped get passed, a Senate Bill to enforce immigration laws,  but she also went over her Attorney Generals head when he refused to represent the people of Arizona on her behalf. Jan Brewer  had a statue written giving her power to join other States in their lawsuit against our President and Congress for passing what many believe to be, an unconstitutional Health Care Bill.

More of our Representatives should have the guts to do what this woman is attempting…getting back our country and doing what the people of her State ask her to.

I would hope that all of you Google Senator Sylvia Allen and Governor Jan Brewer, write to them, and let them know you support them for their efforts…After all, our President thinks illegal aliens are a joking matter,,( see Governors website video at  www.janbrewer.com/news-room/videos ) while we continue to carry the financial burden of having to pay for all the free health care they receive everyday. Do your part…its time..

The Regular Guy

Something that has always fascinated me about age is when I look at my parents, no matter how old they were, they always seemed “old” to me. I can remember when my dad turned fifty and we gave him a party. I thought he was so old then. Now I think I must have been nuts to think that because I am that age now and I still feel like I am in my twenties. Probably how he felt then too.

A big part of aging is definitely a mental thing. Unless you are ill or in very bad shape, getting older happens so slowly that its hard to believe that you are old. I know this because when I look in the mirror, I see a very different version of the man I see in my head. If it wasn’t for reflections, I probably wouldn’t believe that I was indeed as old as I am. Getting older always seemed at least ten years away from where I am at.

I do however know what reality is. As a man, I know when I got old. Although I believed I knew when it happened, I wasn’t sure if it was just me who felt this way. That was until this past Saturday night, when a friend of mine mentioned to me the same thing I had believed was the measuring stick for when a man gets old.

He said that he knew he was old now because young girls don’t notice him anymore. When he said that I couldn’t believe it. He just said what I had thought was the reason I was old. I first noticed it when being in a bar. Girls would say “excuse me sir” when they needed to get past me. And worse yet, they didn’t even look at me when they said it. It used to be they would at least make eye contact with you. My friend said he realized it was happening about two years ago. We compared notes and both figured that for a guy, it was a true gauge to when we get old.

I sit in the chair and get my hair cut. The girl is maybe 36 yrs old and shes talking about meeting a guy. Her parameters are that he has hair, teeth and no more than forty because that would be too old. Wow, forty huh?? I laugh about it and say something and naturally she says that I don’t look my age but the point was already made. Forty seems to be the cut off to being young.

So my regular guy friends, get ready. Age will creep up on you and blindside you when you least expect it. One day shes cutting your hair and the next day she’s trimming your ear hair. Life’s funny like that. It takes hair from where you want it and puts it where you don’t.

So in reality, fifty ain’t so nifty but it’s better than the alternative. Anyway, by my calculations, I still have at least ten years until I…. get old.

The Regular Guy…