Posts Tagged ‘Add new tag’

High blood pressure, P90x and my path to a better me

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Over or under?!?

Friday, January 8th, 2010

So for the last time. The toilet paper is on the roll correctly when the paper rolls over the TOP!!!

When was the last time you were in a hotel ( 1/2 hour rate motels don’t count) and saw it unrolling from underneath.

Get it right already! And check out this site for SHITS and Grins

(yeah so some stupid things really bother me…)

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

Holiday Postcards…..yuck

Monday, December 28th, 2009

Who is the person that started the Holiday Postcard trend? I for one can’t stand them!

Okay, at first your thinking what kind of person am I that I can’t stand looking at someones kids? I have to say that I am really tired of seeing pictures of kids that I never met, haven’t seen in years or are just plain scary looking. What makes people think that their kids on a postcard is what people want to see on their mantle. It has to be a woman thing, because I can’t see a guy thinking this is a good idea, unless he developed it and is making a fortune.  Really now, did you take a good look at some of the kids on these cards? Unibrows, hook noses, no necks, girls that look like guys, crazy clothing, funky hats  etc.. And now we get to see them as college students too! At that age you present a whole new problem because if they are good looking your husband is probably checking that one out over beers with his friends! Ha! And here’s a better one. How about the single girl with her dog picture. This girl doesn’t have kids or a regular guy so she thinks it’s cute to pose with a canine? And the dog is better looking than she is! Guess that”s why she’s not posing with a guy or her own kids. Not happening for her!

Five years ago it seemed like a pretty cool idea, but it’s time to put this fad to bed already. This years pictures we received took the cake and if it couldn’t get worse we received one with President Obama on it. Come on man, its the Holiday’s! Do I need to get your political statement on my Christmas card? Especially since I didn’t vote for the man. Whats next, advertisements?  Pillsbury presents “The Mitchell Twins”. The pop and fresh dough boy framed around to ugly duckling twins.

I always felt that greeting cards were a tremendous money maker for Hallmark and a big waste of money for the people sending them. Cards don’t get more than a glance by most and those who receive them seldom see or hear from the sender other than Holidays. It’s a shame now that we have reduced ourselves to sending pictures of children to friends they never met, when instead, making time to get together would do a lot more for developing a relationship. I say, throw out the cards and start using the phone. The minutes are free, long distance is a thing of the past and hearing from old friends is always better than seeing pictures of their children. This is all part of a bigger problem. With all the ways of communicating we have today we have lost touch with the human element. Visits and conversations have gone the way of texting and emails, and now picture postcards.

I sure do miss the “old days”………

Just one mans opinion

The Regular Guy

Do you hear me????

Thursday, October 15th, 2009

I don’t talk much. Some people think I am aloof. Most people think I am in a bad mood. Alot of people think I don’t like them. Truth is, I don’t say much unless I feel it nescessary and quite frankly, no one usually cares enough to listen anyway!!!!

I have learned in my life that it is better to be a good listerner than it is to be a good talker. I have learned more listening than I ever will from talking. The problem is most people today don’t find anyone interesting enough to listen to before they talk.

We have become a society of people who care more about what they have to say than what the the other person does. I find it not only rude but frustrating.

The very worse case I have witnessed recently came at a training seminar I attended for Mediation. A woman therapist spoke for approximately 30 minutes and then gave the floor to the next speaker. During the time that the gentleman was speaking, no less than five times did she interrupt him to give her opinion. At one point she stole the floor from him. This woman had her own agenda and she was going to push it all day no matter whose turn it was to speak.

I come from a family of what Seinfeld would probably call “over-talkers”. You know them as the friend who never lets you finish a sentence. Or the employee who always finishes your sentence for you and doesn’t come close to what you were trying to say.

When did this happen. As a kid I would be scolded for such rude behavior and now it is commonly accepted. It is a standing joke between two friends of mine and myself, how they never let me finish a sentence. Worse yet is when they ask me a question and don’t bother to listen to the answer but turn away in the middle of it. My wife and I now continue talking to people who look away but we change the subject to something tragic like ” and then I cut my finger to the bone and had to have it stitched and blah blah”. At some point the person usually turns their attention back to us  without a clue as to what we are talking about. Pretty funny stuff.

So what is it with people that can’t shut their pie hole long enough for someone to answer their question? What makes people talk over someone in conversation? I think the reason is two fold. First, most people tell me that they think they will forget what they are going to say next so they blurt it out. Second, they lost their ability to listen. Everyone is in such a rush today that taking time to listen to someone slows their day down. They already know what you are going to say so why not move on. Or better yet, they have a similar story that they can’t wait to tell you. Another Seinfeld moment. “the one upper”. Oh yeah everyone knows one of these people. Always found the blouse cheaper, or their kid gets better grades, or they have a different model television that is better than yours.Anything you say they have a story just like it but better.At least they think its better.

So everyone just chill! Believe it or not, if you take the time to listen to what someone else has  to say you might find what you think you wanted to say might change.And maybe you just may learn something about that person you didn’t know.

I love to listen. I love to listen because no one else is and I hear everything. Being a Mediator, I do however have an unfair advantage,. Yes, being a Mediator I am trained to listen to what people have to say. That is how I have become so quiet and such a good listener. I am grateful for that training because people say very interesting things if you let them. And, if you really listen to people they will notice and pay more attention to what you have to say when it’s your turn to speak.

The best thing about not talking so much is that people notice. As I said in my opening paragraph, they form all sorts of ideas about me because I don’t talk as much as they think I should. Maybe they get some bad ideas about me but when I do talk, most of them listen very carefully. Probably because they are in shock when I do. Plus not talking so much keeps them guessing about what I am really like. It sort of gives me the upper hand in a weird way.  This way I figure that when I do say something maybe, just maybe,they will listen……Can you hear me now????


Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

I consider myself a pretty easy and outgoing guy, outside of work , that is. All things considered though , I don’t have many friends. I have had a lot of “friends” over the course of my life, but they never really seem to stick around.

Lets start with when we are young, say grade school age. How many friends do you have that stuck around since you were between thirteen and seventeen? Me, I don’t have any. I had at least 25 “friends” from my school days, two of which I considered brothers I never had. Those two were the toughest to lose. How about between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five? Most of us just started working or went to college during these years. I have one friend that stayed in my life since then. One other who stayed “friends” for some twenty years,  just decided one day he had enough and never called again. How can someone just walk away after so many years and not even wonder  how the other person is doing,  and just call .

After twenty-five it gets hard to meet new friends. Oh yeah we meet alot of guys from work or our kids father’s, or our wives friend’s husbands but they rarely amount to much. “True”, and I’ll say it again, “true” friends are extremely hard to find and even harder to keep.

What is it with guys and friendships? It doesn’t seem to work for us as much as it does with women.It seems to me that women go out of their way to hold on to friends , whereas men always seem to have a reason why they can’t just “get together “anymore. And not even that it’s  hard to get together but they can’t seem to tell you to your face that they have something else they would rather do. It’s always “I’ll let you know tomorrow ” but tomorrow never comes. I hear those words now and I start making other plans.

Probably the worst case of a bad friend is when he meets a girl. He no longer can say yes or no to any plans you might have because he’s scared to say yes without knowing how his girl will react. Or maybe he’s just afraid to do things without her because he feels she will do things with out him too. That’s the “insecure friend”. Say goodbye to him until she leaves him for someone else. Why do men suddenly turn into wimps when they meet a girl? Do women really have this strange mystical power over us? I do not buy into it and here’s why. The same guy who used to hang out with you meets this wonderful young lady and so starts his disappearing act. At first you guys still hang out most of the time, and then as double dates. Then you start noticing he always has something to do. His life just got so filled up he can’t find the time to hang out and watch a game. So after years of this you give up and look in another direction. But  just as you give up here comes Joe friend again. Now he’s married and he has a couple of kids that are older and he can’t stand being in the house anymore . His wife’s a nag and his kids don’t even pay attention to him unless they need something, like money. So now he’s calling you all the time and trying to hang out. So you see, women don’t have pixie dust, it’s men who somehow can’t give a shit about friendships unless it is convenient or self serving.

I do however notice a very strange thing about men and friendships. Men can go for ten years without seeing you, then meet up with you some day and talk like it was yesterday that you last hung out. They will go on and on about how it used to be and  how great those days were, and then comes the killer ending. ” We have to get together some time”  or “its been too long and we can’t let this happen again”. You know right there…it’s the kiss of death. You aren’t going to see this bum for another ten years.

What does it really take to have a friendship?  I have a very simple idea of what makes a good friend. Just call me. That’s it, plain and simple. Just call me every month or so and say hello. Not much huh? You know what happens when friends call each other? Things happen! Thats right, things happen. Just by chance something you talk about will lead to a get together or a lending of the hand to help move a piece of furniture. That’s all it really takes to keep a friendship alive. Think about all the friends you had in your life and how many of them would still be a part of it , if only they called you. I think about it all the time and it is the saddest part of my life. Losing my friends is the saddest part of my life.

I always believed that true friends were hard to find and that I would do my best to preserve a friendship. But I also learned that just one persons attempts will not keep a friendship intact. At some point you will concede and the friendship will end, because you were the only one in it.

I am happy to say that not all friendships end a ghastly death. I do have a few close ones that  weathered the storm over the years and came out intact. Funny as it may be, my closest friends all live either an hour or hundreds of miles away. We have worked at staying friends no matter how distant we are from each other. We don’t see each other much but we do phone each other  all the time. And that is, as I said earlier, the key to a lasting and true friendship. Hard to believe that with all the cell phones we have today some of us still can’t find the time to just pick up the phone and say “hello my friend, hello….”

Charlie’s Angel no more…

Monday, July 6th, 2009

I hope that I am not coming off as being callous but why couldn’t Michael Jackson pass on one week later? Maybe if Michael had died a different week, Farrah Fawcett’s death would have gotten more attention.

I can’t remember just when it was that I began to like Farrah Fawcett. It definitely wasn’t during her short stint on Charlies Angel’s. And believe it or not, it wasn’t from owning that poster of hers, because I didn’t have a copy. I think it might have been when she turned fifty. A friend of mine bought me a copy of her Playboy video for my birthday. What a guy huh? Yeah that’s probably when I began to like Farrah Fawcett.

I know I sound just like a guy because I chose that moment in time, being it was Playboy and all, but something struck me about her that hadn’t before. She seemed real to me. Not like Pamela Lee Anderson, who was always so fake looking. Farrah just had something about her that made you think she was just a regular woman. The only other celebrity woman I can remember thinking the same way about was Cindy Crawford.

Even though that video was very corny and she came off as whiny and a little ditsy at times, she did seem to be real. Getting past her good looks you could see why so many people admired and followed her career. She definitely came off as a down to earth woman and someone who you could probably approach and hold a conversation with.

When I first heard that Farrah was sick with incurable Cancer, I was really taken back by it. After seeing her television special about her battle with the disease, I felt even worse. I don’t know what the connection is with Farrah but her life left a mark on mine.

The reason I said what I did about Micheal Jackson earlier, was because his death overshadowed Farrahs and she never got the attention that she deserved. After showing us just how horrible Cancer is and how she fought valiantly to the end, she deserved more in death. Maybe this sounds a little strange because after reading this I thought so too, but it seems like everything that happened to Michael Jackson he brought on himself. Farrah just happened to catch a bad break and in death had to take a back seat to a talented yet freakish superstar.

Maybe others out there will read this and agree with me. Maybe in some strange way Farrah affected them in a way they can’t explain either.Maybe this is just my way of recognizing Farrah’s life and death, and what she meant to me…..

Ebby’s Cafe Alfresco, Seaside Park NJ

Monday, July 6th, 2009

I love this place! Something about Ebby’s made me feel that way from the moment I walked in.

I turned forty nine years old this last Wednesday and my parents and their close friends asked my wife and I to join them for dinner at a place they thought I would really enjoy. I am not one for fancy restaurants so this one looked promising at first glance.

Ebby’s is a little delicatessen/ restaurant set back on a main road through a beach town here in New Jersey. You would never know from looking at the outside that such great food is being served on the inside. Walking in the front door you have to pass by the deli to get to the dining area but once inside the dining room you quickly forget that there is a deli attached to it. The dining room is dressed in crisp linen table clothes and comfortable lighting. I say comfortable because at forty nine its tough to read menus in most places these days. Ebby’s also dining al Fresco under the tent along side the building on the patio.

Ebby’s menu is filled with the usual items that one would find in a continental restaurant, but the taste is not so usual at all. We started with an order of fried calamari and an order of something that I haven’t seen before and quite frankly do not know the name of. It is a clam, spinach and  white bean appetizer that I believe is their version of steamed little necks. Whatever it is, it is fantastic. The broth is made for dipping your crusty bread into. The only problem was that there were too many of us for just that one dish. This is a must have if you visit Ebby’s.

Ebby’s menu has enough items to make you have to choose albeit agonizingly, between so many interesting twists on some regular expected dishes. And if that’s not difficult enough, Ebby’s serves up specials too. I had a very tough time deciding between the Pork Milanese and the Cowboy Steak. Both sounded great but I eventually opted for the Steak, being that it was a Rib-eye which happens to be a favorite of mine.

My choice turned out to be a good one as the Steak was done perfectly and accompanied with Broccoli Rabe and Roasted Potatoes, which set it off nicely. Every one’s meals must have been exceptional as our table got very quiet while dinner was being eaten. That’s not an easy thing to accomplish with our group.

I can’t tell you how much the dinner was but I can tell you that the pricing was very reasonable. Our server, Christi was knowledgable and very attentive. She did a great job with all our questions too, especially from me when I asked three times about the specials! I wasn’t allowed to partake in the paying of the bill because it was my birthday but I will tell you that I plan on returning to Ebby’s real soon. By the way, bring your own bottle. Another great reason to visit Ebby’s.

Regular Guy rating  * * * *

Ebby’s Cafe Alfresco

2013 Central Ave, Seaside Park

Toms River NJ

Mid Life Crisis…It’s just a Cosmo thing

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Mid life crisis in men does not exist. That’s right, and I am not afraid to shout it out. The so called “mid life crisis” was made up by some pissed off woman who probably worked or wrote for Cosmopolitan magazine. So for those of you Regular guys who don’t know what the term pertains to here is a quick synopsis.

As we age, probably somewhere between 40 and 55, (hence the “mid life”),we “supposedly” go through a depressed state in our lives where we begin to search our selves in hopes of regaining a portion of our youth (remember this part because it will come up again later). In that search we almost always find a younger woman, a sports car or motorcycle, and some times one or more tattoos . Yes, we all know someone like this. The “crisis” part of this happens when we find the younger woman. The “crisis”, as I see it, is a result of an affair with this younger woman or an ensuing divorce that is the result of the affair with this younger woman. Okay, so that’s the short and to the point, quick overview.

My take on this is very different. Yes I do agree that we begin to search ourselves somewhere at this age level, but that is where my agreeing ends. It is my belief, that most men have basically the same wants, urges, desires, and needs that we somehow all acquire at a very young age. This “thing” that we are born with is why women tend to think of us as boys, dirty old men, pigs, immature, and maybe even a little selfish. This isn’t something we ask for but is inherently passed along from generation to generation.

This unexplainable gene that none of us know how or why it’s there, keeps us searching from our youth, for the same things in life. It is the thing that makes us want or desire things like women, big screen televisions, fast cars, sports,etc. It’s partly those desires that we are taught to control from our earliest days and all through life, because as we are told, we will never get a good woman to marry us if we don’t. In our childhood we fight the good fight to be who we are but usually in the end we give in and conform to what women think we should be. We give up the things that make us who we are to marry, support a wife, help raise the children, put them through college, and see them off into their own lives. But all along as we do what we are supposed to do, we continue to fight the urges to be who we are.

Thinking back, we all wanted or for some of us, owned, a car that defined who we thought we were. Maybe it was a 1970 Chevelle Super Sport or one of those “screaming chicken on the hood” Trans Ams from the seventies, but now we have to drive a mini van or if we get lucky we get an SUV. But down deep we all look at those two door BMW’s or that new Corvette and dream about what we would feel like if we were driving that car instead. We remember how those cars made us feel when we were young and miss those days past. Or the better example I like to give is the one I like to call my “convertible wife”. Think back to when you would pick up your girl friend for a date and have the top down or the t-tops off, windows open and cassette tape blasting and she would jump into the car singing and laughing and ready for the night of her life. Now lets take a ride in our time machine and fast forward to today. You and your wife have a Saturday afternoon to yourself and you just finished washing and waxing that new convertible that you finally, after all these years, found a way to make your own.You make plans with her to go to a friends house for a beer and some laughs. You hop in the car and turn up the tunes and anxiously await her arrival. She approaches the car and screams for you to “lower the damn radio will ya’ ” and proceeds to get in. Upon take off, she reminds you to put the top up because she “just did her hair” and the “wind will be too much”.  POP!!! HISSSSSS!!! That is the sound of a feel good moment being sucked away from a middle aged  Regular guy. The excitement that once was is now gone because we can not be who we really are.

The thing is, middle age shouldn’t be a “crisis” for men, but should be a celebration. Middle age is an opportunity for us to get back the things in our past life that made us who we are today. By middle age hopefully our kids have grown and so has our disposable income. It is our chance to return to our youth and celebrate what was so good in our lives when it was just that, OUR life. This does not imply that we do not appreciate all the good that has come from our marriage and family but that at this point in our life we can have a little of our own space back. This is one reason why classic cars from the sixties and seventies are so popular today. It is guys like you and me, in mid life, who are trying to get back a piece of our youth that we cherished so much. It reminds us of how simple things were then. When we didn’t have so much responsibility and everything was about what made US happy.

Hooking up with that younger woman isn’t really so much about her age as it is about her attitude. Go back to the story about the “convertible wife” That same woman was probably  that young girl at one time in her life, carefree then, but since changed. Women will argue with me about this all the time. They try to use the excuse that they “grew up” and so should we.

I say is that  “grow up” or “grow old”? There is an old saying that I once heard that makes me understand more and more why relationships sometimes don’t work out. It goes like this. “Men marry women hoping they won’t change, and women marry men hoping they will”. This is probably truer than any other single thing in a marriage between a man and a woman. This is especially true when a child is brought into the fold. Something about a woman changes almost overnight when she gives birth and becomes a mom. It is almost like a woman has two different personalities during her life. Somehow motherhood robs them of the carefree approach to life that they had before giving birth.

I ride a motorcycle with a great group of guys I call my friends. There are five of us that ride once a week, every week.  We spend one night a week together and sometimes the subject of  relationships come up.  The one thing that remains constant through all the talk, jokes and sarcasm, is that we love our wives. The other common thread we share is that our wives don’t understand or appreciate who we are. Especially when it pertains to sex but mostly when it comes to just listening to what we want from our relationships and our life. The story of the “convertible wife” always rings true to the group of men I am part of. They all agree that women change more than men do. They all feel that one of the main reasons a man would cheat is because his wife stopped being who she was when they met. That “younger girl” who they are looking for, should really be their wife. They still want to experience that carefree attitude they shared when they first met and they want to share it with the person they love. Married life has become too complicated and we all just want to make it simple again. You know,  just get up and go!

To say that men are experience a “mid life crisis” is totally absurd. We are just looking to get back a part of our life that we gave up to be the responsible husbands and /or fathers that we are today. It’s just men trying to be who we really are. Trying to express ourselves in a way that seems stupid or irresponsible to women but just ordinary to us. This isn’t a “crisis” that we are experiencing just a rebirth of a part of the person we used to be. There isn’t anything wrong with this other than some women not accepting that we are who we are and we will never change. This should be embraced by women because those of you who married us, fell in love with us back when we were who we were. Maybe it’s time to try to understand why we are this way, rather than try to change us into something that we don’t want to be. We are different and there is nothing wrong with that. We can not be like women and it’s really not a bad thing. After all, you have enough girlfriends already…..

Just one mans opinion..

The Regular Guy

Hey sports fan here!!!!

Friday, May 8th, 2009

I am a fan. I am not nor have I ever been an athlete. I was not blessed with soft hands or big hands for that matter, so I was never really cut out for organized sports. Not that I would have wanted it any other way but I wonder if I would have followed some sort of dream had I had some basic skills to play ball.So I am just …the Regular Guy.

So here I am …a fan. Not a fan-atic (fan being short for fanatic), but these days, just a fan. I have to say, my days of living and dying over my teams wins and losses, have long since passed. I began to realize about 10 years ago that I, as a fan, seemed to care more about my teams losing than my teams players did.  I remember crying as a child when Cleon Jnym1ones struck out and the Mets lost a game. I remember how sick I felt when the Mets were down to two outs, and two strikes in game six of the 1986 World Series. And then how my heart raced and my mood became elated, when the game suddenly became a win for the Mets and they were once again alive to possibly win the Series in seven. Not since those days have I cared so much about sports and my teams.

Growing up, before free agency, if your team was good, it was always good, But,if they were bad, they stayed bad. My team just happened to be bad. Make that very bad. The Mets were lovable losers. Never picked to win anything, I did, as luck would have it, enjoy  my teams  first three World Series at an age that I can still recall all of them vividly. My Mets had the great Tom Seaver. I still remember the first time I heard his name and he is the reason I became a Met fan. He was and probably still is, the single greatest Met to ever wear our uniform. It was, as any Met fan knows well, the worst day in our lives when they traded him to the Reds. You see times were different then, and Tom Seaver belonged to us. He wasn’t supposed to go anywhere. After all, not many guys moved around much back then especially a star like Tom Terrific. Who was  I going to root for now on my team. This was my first scar as a fan.

I don’t watch all the major sports but I do like to watch football. I didn’t do to well picking a football team either, w

min1hen I chose the Minnesota Vikings. In retrospect, my choice of the Vikings didn’t look so bad back in 1970. It was my grand parents anniversary and I was in Momma Leone’s in Manhattan with my family celebrating the event. This would be my first experience with the Super Bowl. Thinking back on it now, I used to think it was weird that they would choose the day of the Super Bowl to celebrate, but back then the Bowl was fairly new and it didn’t garner the attention it does today.

Being that as it may, the Purple People Eaters were playing and I just had to make them my team. What kid wouldn’t pick the Purple People Eaters for their favorite football team. The Vikings had a tremendous defense which is why they went to four Super Bowls in eight years. Unfortunately other teams had better defenses when they met the Vikings in Super Bowls. Four visits, four losses. Not a good record and to date they have never gotten back there. Yeah we had some good teams but we couldn’t get over the hump.This would be scar number two.

Being a fan, epecially for some 40 years, the scars never heal. This is where it becomes hard to be a fan. Although years pass and players change our need to heal the scars never wanes. Being a fan of a losing team only makes it harder because it never seems that we can get that win that makes us forgive and forget the past wounds. This is why it is harder on fans then it is on the players they root for. The players don’t have years and years  invested in the team they play on, but we do. While those players were in diapers we were rooting for our team. When those same players retire, we will still be rooting for our team.

I woke up. I woke up one day and decided that my teams wins and losses were no longer important in my life. I don’t watch  much baseball anymore because for one thing I am sick of the drugs, the high priced players who never stick around, and the fact that I have to pay to watch them now. I don’t stay home on Sundays anymore to watch football, because when the weather is nice its hard for me to waste a day indoors watching television…any television. Life has too much to offer me other that watching sports and I am sure that on my dying bed I won’t be thinking I should have watched more sports.

I am a fan. I am still a fan. I am a fan but now I know my limits and because of that I can appreciate sports as entertainment and nothing more. My memories of the Mets and the Vikings are still intact and the scars never do heal, but life is so much bigger than sports, and I am spending my spare time…. trying to grab a piece of it.

The Regular Guy

The Regular Guy Marriage and Sex Survey

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Men like to talk about marriage and sex. Well let me rephrase that…men usually always talk about marriage and sex. More so sex than marriage but marriage or even better,  “the wife”. So what does the Regular Guy think about marriage and sex? To get a better idea, I sent out a survey to 15  married Regular Guys that I know.  Out of the 15 requests sent, 9 were willing to spend five minutes of their time to take the survey. The survey was confidential, although I believe some thought it wasn’t and that their name would appear beside their answers.  Too bad because the 9 responses returned some interesting, some typical, some surprising and some exactly as I thought, answers to how men feel about their marriage and sex.

My first thoughts about the survey revolved around love, happiness and reasons men married their wives. Of the 9 guys surveyed, 90% were in love when they married and 100% were in love with their wives today, but only 65% were happily married. The top two reasons as to why these men married were love, 75%, and best friend 35%. Along those lines, 65% of these men stated that they hang out with their wives alone for fun, other than for vacations or family functions. That’s pretty telling because a lot of men usually talk about getting away from their wives but this shows the opposite.

The majority of these men, 62%,  said that they enjoy sex with their wives but 85% said they wanted it more than their wives did. Curiously enough, 82% thought that their wives sex drive changed for the worse since they were first married, and the number one cause was because of children in the marriage.  When asked if their wives asked, initiated or invited sex as often as they wanted it, 43% said no” shes never in the mood” and 43% said “yes, but she doesn’t always initiate it.” Pretty even split there.

The last question probably explains why we are so far apart with the way we think about sex.  When asked if they believed their wives understood the male sex drive. 75% said ” no, and they really don’t understand or care about our sex drive”.

So what does all this mean? I always believed that men and women never really take the time to learn about what each other truely wants and needs with sex in a marriage. Oh yeah they probably talk about it or talk at each other but as men we feel that it just falls on deaf ears. I also believe that children in a marriage become the number one thing to the woman, where in a marriage without children, the man is still the most important thing. That is usually the what I hear most from married men. They believe that they are no longer number one and that bothers them. They can’t understand why women change so much as they age.Most understand that the children are probably the reason why they change. My favorite example of the change is the “convertible test”. Can you remember a young girl who is offered a ride in a convertible say no because her hair will get messed up. Never, but take that same girl some 30 years later and there is no way shes getting in a convertible with the top down. Hell my friends wife won’t let him take the top off his Vette while shes in it.

I once heard a saying that is so true. ” Men marry women hoping they never change and women marry men hoping they do”. How true is that saying. When I say that around my friends they can’t believe how true it is especially in their marriage. They think back to how it was when they first met their wives and the things they used to do with each other. Now those same things wouldn’t even be considered by their wives. This my friends is why we have what women call “MID LIFE CRISIS”. We want the same things we always did but can’t have them anymore.

If your interested in taking the survey, just click on the picture of the “blue monkey face” in my favorites links area on this page.

The Regular Guy