Posts Tagged ‘eyes’

Get glasses Alice!

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

At some point in life we all get to an age when our eyes start to become unreliable, especially in dimly lit restaurants.

Being a Regular Guy, I fought the good fight for the last five or six years, trying to get by without optical help. Always one for seeing (no pun) eye doctors, I was told that I only needed readers and that my left eye was only fixable with surgery. So on I continued, hazing cereal box labels, newspapers, and menu’s trying make sense of it all.Wearing glasses never seemed like an option because I hadĀ  great “walking around ” vision. Carrying glasses for reading was even worse because I don’t use a “man purse” and glasses on a chain were strictly for my sun glasses ( which is still fashionable to date).So what does the Regular Guy do?

Alice, its time for contact lenses. Changing eye doctors, I had hoped that this one would be able to offer the option of contacts to help with my reading debacle. Watching my wife use contacts, never seemed like a daunting task to me and I figured that I could master the art of lens wearing in short duty. Okay so maybe I had ideas of grandeur. As my wife has observed and pointed out to me, I have three things playing against me in mastering the insertion and removal of these wonderful opticalĀ  pieces. Finger tips that over the years have lost sensitivity ( from work), hands like bear paws ( piano fingers preferred) and last, eyelid slivers. These three things, if you have not figured it out, will make placing contacts in your eyes VERY difficult.

Needless to say, I stymied the assistant in the docs office for a very long hour, the first time I attempted to install my superior eye wear. Retreating back to the safety of my home, I enlisted the assistance of my favorite contact wearer, to teach my the ropes on how too install these little domes of magnifying wonders.

So armed with visions of expert techniques buried in my mind, I attempted a second installation visit with the docs asssistant. Being blessed with skills beyond most mortal men, I conquered the task at hand and left with contacts in place!

After putting in the lens, I should tell you, I felt like I was in my thirties again. I was walking around the office in wonderment of how much I could read and from such as distance. These things are incredible. I am a new man!

But alas, all good things come to an end. Contacts, as I already knew, must be removed every night and put back in every morning. What a bummer! So maybe I still haven’t really conquered the task just quite yet. Already I have ripped one lens, dropped another (and found it stuck to the soap dispenser bottle) and placed one in backwards (ouch),but I move on with the hopes that great vision is still within my grasp. Its only been three days and it hasn’t gotten much easier, but when I do get (the one lens) it in, seeing everything clear again makes it worth the effort.

Already I know the best thing about reading so easily again. Perusing a menu and actually knowing what I am ordering instead of ordering out of frustration or with the aide of my trusted sidekick’s vocal descriptions. Life is good!