Some one tell me why in Gods name would ANYONE, man or woman buy a candle for a man? Does a person stand in the middle of a chachki store with scented candle in hand with a smile on their face and say” Wow, Joe is going to love this!”

Men don’t do well with gifts. I can understand now what my dad went through all those years for birthdays and Christmas. How hard it must have been for him to smile when inside he was probably thinking” What the hell am I going to do with this singing fish?”

Men don’t do well with gifts especially when women buy them. Not always but most often true, women don’t get us in life, so picking gifts for us is just nuts. Most of us have everything we want, unless its too expensive to buy, which means we aren’t going to get that as a gift from someone else!

So what do you buy for the Regular guy? Probably nothing. Unless you pay attention to what he does in life and especially in his spare time, then nothing works better that a gift card.

In closing, perhaps an example of such a tragic gift story would be fitting. This is what happens when, not one, but two women engage in what they believe is the perfect gift for yours truly.

At some time in my past I mentioned that I always wanted a small pair of binoculars. One that I could easily carry, you know, like to the beach to check out bikini clad women ( What? Were you thinking I was going to say for a sporting event!). So armed with this information, my wife sets out to buy me the gift I always wanted!  UNFORTUNATELY, she shopped at a store that a woman she knows owns and this woman proceeded to talk her out of the small pair of binoculars. She instead, thought that a singular monocular would be much better for me. So, that Christmas, I got half the gift I always wanted!!

To be honest, in the end I did get my binoculars about two years and three gift occasions later but I figure you get the point. This past year I started a list with details like brand names, model numbers, colors, and even a contact person from which to buy these gifts. Not bad huh? Get to it guys……Merry Christmas!

Just one man’s opinion…

The Regular Guy

After dropping my card and promising on my last visit to post my review, I have finally found the time to do so.

After some 20 years of eating at Bill’s diner, I guess its about time I posted why I have been such a fan of his place for so long.

How about a list. Yes, just like David Letterman’s top ten list.

10. Location. At the north tip of Long Beach Island and tucked away from everyone except the local faithfuls and summer tourists.

9. The smell of the salt air and nearby bay make it pleasurable even when waiting during the summer months for a table.

8. The tables in the back room are the coolest. Its like eating in your grandma’s back porch when everyone else has to eat at the kitchen table.

7. The menus on the wall and in your hand offer too many choices that make it too damn hard to decide what to order.

6. The waitresses are the best, the friendliest and the prettiest on the island and the serve up the food faster than you can finish your first cup of coffee.

5. The coffee cup is ALWAYS full.

4. Everything tastes like it was just made, which is exactly how it should be.

3. The kitchen staff has worked together for many, many years and they always serve the food the same way, everyday, which is the hardest thing to accomplish in the restaurant business. CONSISTANCY!!!!

2. The diner is a landmark ( or should be) and no one else on LBI received a visit from Guy Fieri, of my favorite food show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Hats off to you Bill!!

and the number one reason…

1. Mustache Bill’s omelets and pancakes are quite simply the BEST on LBI and the surrounding area. I have my own omelet which should have a name by now since Vinny and I perfected its makeup some three or four years ago…We start with the Potato Skin omelet which has potatoes, scallions, bacon and cheddar cheese and then we ask for HOT peppers to be added. Dress it up with salsa, sour cream and a short stack of ‘cakes and the next meal you can expect to want is dinner. Bill has perfected the omelet and no where will you find one that is fluffier and filled better.

You can expect only the best when you visit Mustache Bill’s so get up early, put the top down and head over to LBI and enjoy the best breakfast this area has to offer.

The Regular Guy rating * * * *

Mustache Bill’s Diner

W 8th St and Broadway
Barnegat Light, NJ 08006

Hey, that's just not a safe riding style....

For those of you who never saw the movie “Wild Hogs”, you should if you want a good start to understanding why men ride motorcycles.

I can remember being a child and what my first impressions of motorcycling were. The thing I most remember is my moms cousins and their “motorcycle garage” behind their house. Back in the sixties cut up choppers were the thing to have and at any given time you would see a large variety of them at their garage.

As a child, you can not help to feel awe at the sight of tattooed men with all that iron and noise around them.  Even at this age I still find myself in awe, at times, when I am surrounded by motorcycles. It’s like being in the wild west without the guns.

But even though I have always had a love of motorcycles, it wasn’t until I reached forty or so that I truly appreciated what it does to enhance my life.

Having a motorcycle in itself doesn’t necessarily bring excitement and adventure. It is with whom and what you do with it, that makes motorcycling a great thing. Nothing else exemplifies this more than owning and riding a Harley Davidson. It is like belonging to a club with out walls and rules. It’s a fraternity with out the hazing.

The absolute best reason for riding is the people you meet and become friends with. Someone tagged it “male bonding” but I think that’s a load of commercial crap. Yeah we all get along, but I always think of bonding like a bunch of men sitting around singing Kum Ba Yah. That just isn’t happening. What happens is that the motorcycle becomes the common denominator that brings together men of all backgrounds. Doctors, lawyers, chefs, Realtors, electricians and so on, just wanting to do one thing. Experience life through simple transportation and being able to share that with someone else who can understand it.

A lot of people always ask me why we get together to take a trip and ride for hundreds of miles a day.  They think its boring because you have no one to talk to, like you would in a car. They can’t understand what reason we would have to go to Ohio, for instance. What could possibly be a reason to ride there. This is the one thing people don’t really understand about motorcycling unless they ride one. The trips aren’t about the ride itself but the friendships that come from them. The best part of the ride is always at night when you pull into a new town, and go out for a steak, some drinks, and laugh your ass off about the events that took place that day. There aren’t any phone calls from work, no bills to pay today, no kids to drive to soccer, nothing but you and that bike and your friends.

I just spent the better part of four days on a ride that rolled up 1200 miles. On that trip I got to spend time with my uncle, that I probably would never have done with out our motorcycles. We were all drenched in rain that was so heavy, we had to dry our boots on the heaters in the hotel rooms. I smelled the aroma of at least 12 different things that I would have missed if I were in a car. I got to act like a college kid again, when we all did shots of Vodka in a small cafe in State College Pa. I experienced roller coaster excitement on rte 322, where roads were cut out of the sides of mountains that were so steep that trucks had to ride their brakes just not to crash.

There’s a saying bikers have, “Ride to Live, Live to Ride.” which just about sums it all up. At no point in my life have I ever felt as alive or as free as I do when I ride.

So here’s to my friends “The Mild Hogs” and to another safe and successful trip…

The Regular Guy

One minute things are as they always are. Happy, easy going and with no real thoughts about anything. Then in an instant, it changes.

Now you both aren’t talking. Well you talk but the words aren’t the same. They are short and given without intent to provide honest conversation. Even touching each other is awkward when it used to be natural. Almost as if you both forgot how its done.

Saying I love you now, is like giving in, when at a time like this, it is when it’s needed most. It’s been written that love meant never having to say you were sorry. Well men, that is not true.

Saying your sorry, especially when you feel that your side of the rift is the correct one, is the only way out of this mess. The problem is that it is always you that has to be the one to do it, in order for things to be normal again.

As hard as it is to always have to be the one to say “I’m sorry”, its even harder to live with the fact that you always give up what  you believe in just to keep the peace.

Maybe its just part of being a man. Maybe because our feelings can be hurt or we can be upset and then just move on. Start over when things are said and done like nothing happened. After all most men argue and then have a beer and its all forgotten. I guess it just isn’t that easy for women.

So now it’s just a matter of how long you decide to let this linger before you break the ice and clear the air, because you know she’s not going to do it. It’s really unfortunate that it has to come to this especially when you both know that the what caused this wasn’t even serious.

So with mop in hand, it’s time to clean up the mess you helped create.

Funny thing is that once its all cleaned up, it’s like it never happened. Back to hugs, back to kisses, back to meaningful conversation…..

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

Having breakfast out on Sunday mornings is always one of my favorite things to do, and this Sunday was no exception.

The Horizon Diner is one of the oldest businesses in town. Some years back, the diner was renovated by a previous owner and is now more up to date than its original self. Although the previous owner did most of the updates, credit must be given to the new owner for the upgraded food and service.

Today’s visit offered both good food and some exceptional service. It has always been one of my pet peeves that most restaurants won’t accommodate a request for something special.  Diners however, are usually very capable and willing to prepare a dish not on its menu pages.

I like omelets with a lot going on inside, so I asked for one with cheddar and bacon with sauteed scallions and jalapenos, not too brown ( well done is a no no ) and sides of salsa and sour cream. Our waitress was a real pleasure too as she didn’t flinch when I preceded to rap off everything I wanted. She actually played along very well with the kidding we gave her during the placement of our orders.

All in all the food was done just right and we all had a good time, which is the way it should be when going out to eat.

The Regular Guy rating  * * *

The Horizon Diner

Bay Ave Manahawkin NJ 08050

(609) 597-4771

I am tired of the bull crap being dished out to me by politicians who are self serving and couldn’t care a rats ass about all the hardworking (Legal) Americans who just want a fair shake. Being that I am about turn fifty, AARP figures I’m next in line for a membership. Yeah well you can see how I feel about that….love to see the persons face when they open my envelope!!!.I’ve had enough.

“Age is only a number”! I used to hear that all the time when I was a kid and visited my relatives. The “older” ones, would always say things like that when they talked about getting old.

Something that has always fascinated me about age is when I look at my parents, no matter how old they were, they always seemed “old” to me. I can remember when my dad turned fifty and we gave him a party. I thought he was so old then. Now I think I must have been nuts to think that because I am that age now and I still feel like I am in my twenties. Probably how he felt then too.

A big part of aging is definitely a mental thing. Unless you are ill or in very bad shape, getting older happens so slowly that its hard to believe that you are old. I know this because when I look in the mirror, I see a very different version of the man I see in my head. If it wasn’t for reflections, I probably wouldn’t believe that I was indeed as old as I am. Getting older always seemed at least ten years away from where I am at.

I do however know what reality is. As a man, I know when I got old. Although I believed I knew when it happened, I wasn’t sure if it was just me who felt this way. That was until this past Saturday night, when a friend of mine mentioned to me the same thing I had believed was the measuring stick for when a man gets old.

He said that he knew he was old now because young girls don’t notice him anymore. When he said that I couldn’t believe it. He just said what I had thought was the reason I was old. I first noticed it when being in a bar. Girls would say “excuse me sir” when they needed to get past me. And worse yet, they didn’t even look at me when they said it. It used to be they would at least make eye contact with you. My friend said he realized it was happening about two years ago. We compared notes and both figured that for a guy, it was a true gauge to when we get old.

I sit in the chair and get my hair cut. The girl is maybe 36 yrs old and shes talking about meeting a guy. Her parameters are that he has hair, teeth and no more than forty because that would be too old. Wow, forty huh?? I laugh about it and say something and naturally she says that I don’t look my age but the point was already made. Forty seems to be the cut off to being young.

So my regular guy friends, get ready. Age will creep up on you and blindside you when you least expect it. One day shes cutting your hair and the next day she’s trimming your ear hair. Life’s funny like that. It takes hair from where you want it and puts it where you don’t.

So in reality, fifty ain’t so nifty but it’s better than the alternative. Anyway, by my calculations, I still have at least ten years until I…. get old.

The Regular Guy…

Bring a bottle of wine and make your choice. Spiaggia is two restaurants in one. Feel like having brick oven pizza or Chilean Sea Bass. I have visited Spiaggia a half a dozen times now and whether I choose to dine on pizza or some of their gourmet dishes, I always leave satisfied.

On the one side you can enjoy a full menu with some well known and some of Spiaggia’s own signature dishes, all with an Italian flair. Start your dinner with the Scallop appetizer and you won’t be disappointed. Follow that with the dinner salad and fresh house dressing, which is very light and tasty. There are too many choices for an entree to pick a favorite but I have had the Linguini with Clams, Shrimp and Scallops in a Fra Diavolo sauce, twice. The sauce is veerrryyy good and nice and spicy.

Side two of this restaurant features the same menu as side one, but also Brick Oven Pizza. The atmosphere is the complete opposite so be prepared for a somewhat noisy experience. Sometimes in fact it can be a little too much as some employees “hang out ” there while not working which interferes with the servers attention span. The noise is created from the staff itself, who tend to yell things to each other from across the dining room. Its okay if you don’t mind hearing all about the staffs lives and what they have been doing of late but otherwise I feel it should be controlled. After all, it is a business and should be more professionally run. Other than that, I have to say that the Pizza is delicious. There are examples of different pies on the menu but I always like to make up new ones each time. We tried Grilled Chicken, Spinach and fresh Tomato with a sprinkle of crushed red pepper baked into the pie. It was zingy hot, crispy and good but we didn’t realize it wouldn’t have Tomato sauce under the toppings which tended to make it dry. No problem though, because we asked for a side dish of sauce to add to the pizza.

All in all, Spiaggia rarely disappoints and often surprises me with their consistently flavorful dishes. Spiaggias prices are somewhat average to high, mostly because of the cost of the appetizers. Entrees on the other hand seem to be more moderately priced. As of now, Spiaggia is still a bring your own bottle which helps offset the cost of a night out.Call ahead for reservations as they are very busy, especially weekends between 6pm -9pm.

Regular Guy rating * * * 1/2

Spiaggia e Luna

696 E Bay Ave

Barnegat NJ

609-660-2000

I just read yesterday in a current edition of Men’s Fitness magazine that men NEED to ejaculate at least 21 times a month in order to lower the risk of prostate cancer. Now unless you are a rock star or Tiger Woods, that just isn’t happening. My advice is to seek a prescription from your doctor, “once a day before or after meals” or just take matters into your own hands…..