Posts Tagged ‘uterus’

Can you please pick that up?

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

When I was a kid, I once heard my mom say to her friend that she shouldn’t lift a heavy item. Your thinking “that doesn’t sound so bad “, but, aha, there’s more. She followed that with a scary suggestion that this woman’s “uterus will fall out!”

Wow! What the hell is that? I don’t think I was more than 10 yrs old but that sure sounded bad to me. What the hell is a uterus? Did I have one of those? I lifted some heavy things. Was I going to lose something through my ass? Next time I saw my friends, I had to ask if any of them knew what the heck a uterus is. Well as it turned out we weren’t so up on the female anatomy as we thought we were. Sure we knew the important parts breast, butt, the female flower….you know all the stuff that mattered to us, but a uterus? And the fact that it might just “fall out”. I remember thinking that I was glad I was a guy cause it didn’t seem like much more than a good bowel movement was coming out of me.

So fast forward to the present. I find myself laughing today when I tell women at work not to lift heavy things because their uterus might fall out. They laugh and say that won’t happen, but I tell them I don’t want to be the one present to witness the event if it does! After all, am I the one that s going to have to have to pick it up, bag it and carry it to the hospital so they can put it back in? Hell I don’t think I have it in me toss it in my car and bring it with us. Its not like a finger that you can throw in a bag of ice and put it on the dashboard. If you witnessed your child’s birth than you know just how messy those things can be! Seriously, does it really “fall out”? I recently heard a story about a guy who pushed so hard during a visit to the john, that his intestine fell out. Really, a friend of mine drove him to the hospital and watched the doctor push it back in. Holy crap man!

So for future reference, don’t let your woman pick up heavy items.  Unless you have a pooper scooper or something else handy to pick up that uterus when it falls out you better carry those grocery bags from now on!

Just one man’s opinion!

The Regular Guy