Posts Tagged ‘women’

Waiting for your soul mate?

Tuesday, July 7th, 2015

“You have half our gifts. I the other. Together we make a whole. Together we are much more powerful.” – Joss Stirl

Do I believe in “soul mates”?  I believe in the possibility that they can exist. Not by chance but by cause and effect.

Do I think that by some random chance there is someone out there that is the bLife-Love-Quotes-Youre-My-Soul-Mateest possible person for me? Not really. Do I believe that there is someone out there who COULD be the best possible person for me? Yes I do.

I don’t think a soul mate has to be left to chance. I believe that if you become open to who the person you are with is, you can become their soul mate. I know that if I spend enough time paying attention to the person I am with, I could become her soul mate. If I knew all her crazy quirks and played along to them. If I listened to her stories instead of texting while she was telling them. If I bring home the milk for her tea when shes out, without her asking. If I know she is angry and doesn’t need advice but just an ear to bounce it off. In time, I would be her soul mate.

I believe that if I were to do all the little things we often overlook, and even if she didn’t notice, someday she would look back and say she met her soul mate. Knowing what she wants before she asks isn’t esp its just called paying attention. There are so many little examples every day that occur that we can take a note of and bank for later. Favorite foods. Clean shaven face. Holding doors. Walking next to not in front of her. As some one once said ” its the little things that add up”

We don’t have someone out there who is waiting in the wings, that knows all these things. They take time to learn and then nurture into something that matters. Its all the small stuff that amounts to why someone stays in a relationship. It’s the things that make you feel loved. That make you feel like you matter. That make you feel like life wouldn’t be as good without her. The things that only two people share that they feel just from being in the same room together. The stuff you can’t pay for or fake. It’s the real things that only come from a connection, a bond , shared by two people open enough to accept into their life. There is something about being human , in our DNA, that allows us the chance to bond eternally, if we are open to it

What makes it so hard to have a soul mate is “it takes two to tango”. You can’t be someones soul mate without them being yours. Won’t work. Nope. So if you go about your life trying to do all the little things and get nothing in return, it won’t happen. Nada. Ziltch. Zippo.That is where the connection comes from. Both people need to open their hearts and minds to each other. And for that to happen, you would need to make your relationship the most important thing in your lives.

The real challenge is wanting and working for a soul mate, not searching or waiting for one.

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

Old Guys Rule!

Wednesday, November 5th, 2014

I am now at a time in my life when hanging out with 70 year old men is more of the norm, than hanging with 30 year old men. It happens quickly, seamlessly and more strangely, as a welcome change.

I used to joke to my wife about how old men are more friendly and approachable than old women. Men always seem happier and more apt to strike up a conversation whereas women seem to busy and preoccupied with hair and nails. Well maybe not just hair and nails but it’s something that is on their minds.  I believe it goes back to how men never really change even as they age. We actually become more like we were when we were young the older we get.

I’ve begun to seek out older guys. They always have something interesting to talk about and I always learn something from them. Old guys now have time for hobbies so many of them go back to collecting cars as  pastime. Sports are always on the table and if you are a diehard fan it doesn’t get better than to talk to a someone from the 40’s or 50’s. To hear them talk about a life we can only imagine. A simpler time when radio broadcasts were as groundbreaking an event as streaming video is today.  Their colorful recap of the past is especially amazing since they only had their ears to rely on for a picture of what was happening.

I love cars. I really love the old ones especially because they remind me of my past.  Yesterday, I took a motorcycle ride on a beautiful fall day, to seek out a 1969 Camaro that is for sale in my town. Lo and behold I found myself in a scene from one of today’s car reality shows. I arrive and as I ride down a long driveway, I am waved on by a woman who I would later meet as one of the owners of the Camaro. As I continue along, I see a huge garage, a fifty foot monster lined with doors, just behind the house I am passing, and in front is an older man directing me where to park.

In my head I am thinking that this is going to be an experience that one hears about like urban legends. As I dismount I can’t help but to laugh to myself because I am approaching a part of automobile heaven. Then I think this could go one of two ways. This man could be a really cool car guy or he could be a real pompous ass who just loves to show off his toys. Luck today, would shine as strong as the sun on me for he was a cool car guy.

Now here is why old guys rule. This gentleman and I spoke for over an hour and a half about everything from how he grew up to how he acquired the 25 or so cars and motorcycles that we toured through that day. Each car and bike had a very detailed history that he was very eager to share with me. The part that pulls me in every time is the passion you can sense when they talk about their life and how it has intertwined with their vehicles over all these years. Walking through all the cars, batteries, lifts, tools and parts you can’t help but think this man is a hoarder so we joke about all the unfinished projects that he knows will never get done. At some point I felt myself being drawn into this mans life. I envisioned spending my days off from work, helping him pull parts and shine up the cars and organize his garage which he definitely can’t do on his own any longer. Being 76 yrs old, he made it clear that he’s run out of steam and lost his motivation to see anything from start to finish. I told him he needed someone to get his juices flowing again. Not wanting to spook him, I held back volunteering to get my hands dirty after just meeting him but I will most surely return another day to drop that idea on him. Being that he has a son that doesn’t share his interest in cars, he needs someone to reignite that spark.  I couldn’t help but to tell him how cool I thought it was that he could just come out here everyday, crank his radio up and hang out in that huge man cave of a garage he has. He laughed and agreed that it was the best part of his day to just go out there and hang around in the mess he’s accumulated for some 30 years.

When I was younger, my friends and I would gather in someones garage, work on our cars  and play music, laugh and break each others chops for hours, all with out a care in the world. Now as I have reached the other end of my lifeline, I can see why men find their way back to the garage. There is something very nostalgic about old age and cars that makes it one of life’s more enjoyable moments. Men don’t change. We take breaks now and then to raise children, stress over our jobs and try to find ways to make our wives happy. But that old car guy is  in there somewhere, just waiting for his moment to go back in time and do the things he loved.  The things that helped to shape his life and made him the person he is today. Old Guys do rule!!!!

Just one man’s opinion..

The Regular Guy

A fathers wish..

Friday, January 31st, 2014

rockJust the other day, my daughter asked me why I haven’t written anything in such a long time. I told her I was in a slump. My slump is now over and this one is for her.

Life changes overnight when you become a father. It’s difficult to explain but easy to understand when that day occurs. You see your daughter for the first time and understand how fragile and reliant on you she is, to care for her until she becomes of age to tend for herself. Naturally you have prepared the usual things, crib, playpen, car seats, etc… but as the days, months and years pass you can’t help to think about what you will imprint on her. What you will leave with her long after you are gone. The stuff that helps her get through life unharmed, perhaps even without a broken heart , maybe to show her how she can be happy without all the material things hers peers, friends and others cherish so needlessly.

When my little girl was born her mom and I were in a tough time. We didn’t last but 6 months after she came to us, and of course it was no fault of hers, but a number of things that accumulated in her parent’s relationship that caused the parting.

Looking back on those days, her mom and I only wanted to do what was best for her albeit we differed in ways of how we believed it should be. I can say that I was distraught with how the whole thing played out but I am grateful that for the first 13 years of my daughter’s life I was able to enjoy a lot of memorable time with her.

Those early years were always my favorite times. Of all the things that stuck with me the one thing that I will never forget is how I felt when she would fall asleep in my arms. From the time that she was an infant and nestled her head on my shoulder to when she was a toddler and rolled herself up in a ball for a nap against me on the couch.

“She wakes and struggles to open her eyes. She reaches up from her bed to climb into my arms. She hugs tight to my chest and rests her head on my shoulder. I am reminded now, how it feels to be a father”.

I wrote that about her, one morning 14 years ago, when reflecting back on my life.

When she became a teen, my life again took a turn. This time period in our life wasn’t a very good one. It’s hard enough on a father’s relationship with his teen aged daughter when they both live in the same house, but being divorced, that was not our case. I understood the challenges I would face and not getting along well with her mom didn’t help my cause. I learned through years mediating parents through their own divorces, that fighting wouldn’t help my daughter see that I really loved and wanted what was best for her, so I let her choose her own path. Those years without her in my life (like it used to be) were very difficult. Although I believed that in time she would realize the man I was, it is still a hard thing to get through. I preached to others that if you stood by what you believed in, what your parents instilled in you, what values were important to teach your children and that if you showed love, then you had to make a stand. I felt that if I compromised my beliefs then I would be doing her an injustice, perhaps for the rest of her life. I needed her to remember and understand that I was her father, the same person who she adored when she was a child, and that person wasn’t going to give in to certain things no matter what. It was a gamble but parents today compromise their beliefs and the things they were taught as children because they want “more “ for their kids then they had. What a bunch of crap that is. How bad did we really have it?

I don’t pretend to think I know it all when it comes to relationships. A father/ daughter relationship is a tough cookie to crumble. As a man we are wired to want to “fix” everything, including whatever goes wrong in our daughter’s life. But as a father we should realize that our daughter needs to find her on way at some point and hopefully what we showed her in her early years can help her get there. Parents today want to be friends to their children. They avoid laying down the law. They curse in front of them. They get drunk and stoned, sometimes even with them. And then, after it all, they cry out loud to their friends how their kids don’t show respect towards them. I remind them how their parents would never have done the things they do in their children’s presence and they certainly would not accept disrespect from their children but they say it’s different now. Yes, sadly it is, but it wasn’t going to be that way with me and my daughter. I would never want that for her and I wasn’t going to let society or a divorce turn my way of thinking.

When she graduated High School I felt like an outsider looking in. She became this beautiful, intelligent, young woman who I hardly knew anymore. I understood fully how divorce can really tear apart a relationship between a parent and a child. Not being there all the time always put me in the role of the underdog. Never quite enough time to build something between us and now with her heading off to college, there never seemed to be a time to talk and maybe reconnect.

Being the person I am, I tried to remain true to what I believed. I paid the bills, tried to give her moral support and waited for a chance to get to know her again. I fully understood that it’s pretty difficult for a young woman to open up to a man even if he is her father. She definitely couldn’t share the things she would with her mom as easily if at all, with me. Heck some of that stuff could get embarrassing, plus as a father we don’t need to know certain things!. But as years passed by things started to change and as she grew she needed support and advise and she began to turn to me for it. We began talking and spending more time together again and today we seem to be on a good path.

It’s been a challenge for both of us but I must say that I am impressed and proud of how things turned out. As a father I wanted her to understand the importance of family over friendship, the true value of a dollar, the show conviction in what you believe in and the pride that comes from earning everything you acquire in your life. As a father I would want my daughter to be strong and independent and to not have to rely on a man or the village to take care of her. To show both passions in all the things she does and compassion for the people she meets along life’s path. That she’d never fall in love too easily, fear for a broken heart but embrace it when it happens and learn from it, and never, never become fearful that she won’t find happiness because that might happen more than once. Take the bad with the good because it makes the good even better when it happens. And remember what my mom always told me when things turn bad, “it’s just a test”. After all these years and countless times of hearing it, I really have no clue what the hell that means because life itself seems to be a test. Mostly of showing patience and waiting for a point in time when you find that happy place. My advice to her would be not to wait to find happiness, but go and make it. Make a little bit everyday and when you get to be older you can look back and see that a lot of the sadness and pain is hidden deep behind all those little bits of happiness you made every day. I would also tell her that above all else stay true to who you are. Don’t let anyone or anything make you into something you are not. This is one of the hardest things to do in your life because everything you believe, everything you are, and everything you do eventually effects someone else and you will always have to find a way to balance your feelings against your beliefs. You are unique, there will never be another you and you only get this one chance, so make it count.

I love you… Your Father

My letter to our Reps Feb 7, 2013

Monday, March 11th, 2013

IIsent the following letter to all my local, State and Federal Representatives because I don’t believe that I can stand by and do nothing but complain about what is taking place in our country. I am not convinced that any of them will even read this letter let alone act on it, but I know if for only my own good, that I did something. I know that a lot of my friends and people I am in contact with everyday think that guns are bad and no one should own them. I can see why they feel as they do because they don’t have any desire to own one or even shoot one, but that isn’t reason enough to just go along with what is happening with our Constitutional rights. Even though I would miss shooting, I would go along with banning all guns if it meant EVERYONE would no longer have access to them. Do people really believe that our government has our best interest in mind? Why are they then exempt from all the new laws they are presenting to Congress? Perhaps because they feel they are more deserving of our rights than we are. Maybe because they believe they need the protection more than we do. For what ever reason, they shouldn’t be above the law that we would have to live by. My guess is Joe Biden feels he shouldn’t be included if only because of  his recent ridiculous comments about how he and his wife should handle a shotgun. Now HE’S one person that shouldn’t be allowed access to guns!!

Our Constitutional rights were meant to protect us not only from outside attacks on our country but also to fight tyranny from within. I know that if that time ever comes, I at least spoke up against this unfair treatment. Can you say the same?

The Regular Guy

Open letter to my Representatives:

I have been an avid gun owner and target shooter since I was a teenager and I am writing today in hopes that some or all of you are as passionate about our 2nd Amendment rights as I am. With all the talk again about gun banning, I find it necessary that I speak out against further constraints against my Constitutional Rights. I, like the vast majority of gun owners, practice safe control of our arms and do not need further legislation prevent us from legally owning guns of our choice. These new proposals and past laws have done nothing to stop the criminal element that has been present since the dawn of time. Tougher laws do nothing to protect good people from bad, but only make it easier to become a target for criminals. Its time to enforce the laws we have now and keep criminals off the streets, protect our schools if need be with trained armed professionals and don’t continue to punish good honest people with laws that protect no one. I ask that you please fight for our continued Constitutional rights, for we as a nation were built on these principals for a reason. God bless you.

Are Guns really the Enemy?

Monday, January 14th, 2013

Lately I have been catching up on a History channel show “Mankind, the story of all of us”and I can’t seem to get enough of it. But the one thing that stands out most about our history as portrayed here, is that we are all killers. Every civilization since the beginning of time has killed to expand their religion, territory etc..I couldn’t help but notice that with each episode, one tribe, one civilization, one religious group or even people from the same community, inevitably turn on each.

We have been killing each other for centuries and way before the gun was invented. The gun perhaps has made it easier for evil men to do harm to another, but what if your not evil? How does one protect themselves against such?

I know the arguments for gun control but none of them make sense to me. They always seem to hurt the innocent more than the guilty. With each new gun control law that is passed, it seems our civilization gets worse in spite of the tougher laws. Probably because the laws only make it harder for good people to obtain guns. I always said that no matter how tough the law it won’t stop the bad guy because he doesn’t file for a permit, clear  the wait period and then buy his gun in a store such as Dicks sporting goods. Bad guys will always have guns but with each new “tough “law, the good guys lose.

Perhaps the most important thing that Americans fail to realize is that with each new law that is passed we lose more and more of our rights as Americans. The politicians who would champion tough gun laws, need not worry about protecting themselves as they won’t have to surrender their guns. Its just like the healthcare reform. Pass a new law that doesn’t pertain to them. Sure its always “best ” for us, but not good enough for them.

Its time that people start doing their homework and open up their eyes to what is happening around us. This isn’t about saving lives, this is about controlling them. Did everyone forget why our Bill of Rights was written? Did everyone forget how we fought our government to be free from England’s rule? Did everyone forget the saying ” if you don’t learn from history your destined to repeat it?” Yeah, I know its all conspiracy theory, right? That’s always the way peoples rights are taken away. Everyone’s so busy with their lives that most of us just stand by and watch this happen until its too late.

Guns don’t kill, people do. Watch that History channel show and witness just how evil people are and don’t be so surprised when you wake up one day and this country is no longer what it was meant to be. History always has a way of repeating itself and governments just love to rule.

Fair warning. Just one man’s opinion…..

The Regular Guy

Lilies of the Field

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Sometimes life takes you to places that make you stop for a moment and just take it all in. I know your thinking ,( “he must be talking about something like the Grand Canyon”) something big. Nope. Not this time.

Simple things in my life usually make me stop and notice. This past weekend, while visiting friends, I happened upon a small boutique in Doylestown Pa, where I couldn’t help but think this place is special. Located on a corner on main street and if not careful, you might just walk past it, Lilies was definitely one of the highlights of my visit.

A fresh take on clothing for women  and one HUGE  ( pun intended) table display for  men, the articles on sale were not what caught my attention. Arizona, a lively and attentive sales person, was standing behind the front counter when we entered and quickly offered us hot Cider and cookies. Not long after,  Jona ( the shops owner) entered the store with more fresh made cookies from a local bakery. As excited as one could be about cookies and a bakery, Jona couldn’t wait to offer the extended variety of cookies she had purchased for her store.

At this point I realized that unlike most shops along the streets of Doysletown, this one was different. Jona and Arizona’s spirit and freshness made my visit both fun and interesting, as both women seemed as if they truly liked being there. So many times you wander into stores to find sales help absent or perhaps they are off playing with their phones, and even if they acknowledge your being there, they rarely take interest in that fact. At Lilies, I felt like it was appreciated that I happened to be there and both ladies upbeat mood made the visit extremely enjoyable. I found myself waiting to hear the next interesting thing that Jona was going to say. After discussing the local bake shops fare and how much she liked it, her attention then turned to area restaurants that she would recommend for this evenings dinner. While this was happening, Arizona filled me in on the stores clothing, all  made in the USA, and some of which are from local merchants.

As I stood and listened to the conversations and laughter, I couldn’t help but think that I should use my Blog to tell people about this great little shop and the experience awaiting customers when they pass through the doors. If for nothing else, I felt compelled to do something nice for Jona since she had made both my friends and I feel so welcome.

Thanks Jona!

Just one man’s opinion..

The Regular Guy

Lilies of the Field

www.facebook.com/pages/Lilies-of-the-Field/10150090483750693

1 South Main

Doylestown Pa 215-348-8355

 

Ready, Aim, Fire

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

It really can’t be that hard. A toilet is a pretty big target so I just can’t figure out why so many men can’t seem to get that yellow stuff in.

I have seen some pretty bad urinals in public places that I refuse to stand in front of. Urine on my shoe bottoms is not tolerable, so why then would I want to see it in my own house. I think I might have to get a “port-a-potty ” for the next party, or maybe a flexible shield for the rim. How about battleships in the bowl like they do for little boys potty training. Maybe I can make a game of it. Seriously, your mommy isn’t going to cleanup after you anymore and I sure as hell don’t want to. I almost cringe anymore when a guy comes to my house and needs to pee. Figure it out guys and aim for the water……or try using the white stuff on the roll next to you to wipe up the drops!!!

Just one man’s opinion

The Regular Guy

 

Dock of the Bay, Alexandria Bay NY

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Sitting on the dock of the bay…(I couldn’t resist doing that).

Trips to places that are quite a distance away by car, can sometimes take between 25%-50% longer by motorcycle. Taking a ride from the New Jersey shore to the most beautiful place on earth( as my friend swears), the 1000 Islands in NY, took close to 10 hours.

After a ride like that, we tend to be tired and hungry. Most often we leave the bikes and walk or taxi to a restaurant that serves alcohol and hopefully good food.  On this trip we found the Dock of the Bay.

You can’t help but find this place. Smoke pours out of the outdoor slow cooker, and draws your attention as you walk past. Southern BBQ (as advertised on their signage), goes hand in hand with motorcycling and beer, so its our duty to eat in such a place.

I really love slow cooked anything. Pork, brisket, chicken, ribs and steak are all favorites and some times hard to decide between. So tonight I asked if I could have a sampler plate of my own as opposed to the one offered on the menu. I wanted BBQ Chicken, Pulled Pork AND Ribs. Along with that I asked for cornbread, cole slaw and baked beans, and when the plate arrived I was not disappointed.

One half chicken, one half rack of ribs and what looked like 12 ozs of pulled pork, a big honkin piece of corn bread , cole slaw and a side of homemade baked beans later I was ready for bed. Food coma from an overdose of BBQ. Good thing we walked into town because I needed the exercise just to move all that food down.  But seriously, the food was delicious and far exceeded my expectations.

By chance, the next evening we met up with the owner of the Dock outside of another restaurant. Barb, as she called herself, recognized us from her place and came over to say hello. Not a shy girl is Barb. She had us laughing and joking around and left us with quite an impression. I promised I would review her place, so if you find yourself in the “most beautiful place in the world”, stop by the Dock, ask for Barb, and tell her the Regular Guy she met outside Cavallario’s, sent you.

The Regular Guy rating * * * 1/2

Dock of the Bay

2 James Street

Alexandria Bay, NY 13607-1310

315-482-7630

 

Can you please pick that up?

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

When I was a kid, I once heard my mom say to her friend that she shouldn’t lift a heavy item. Your thinking “that doesn’t sound so bad “, but, aha, there’s more. She followed that with a scary suggestion that this woman’s “uterus will fall out!”

Wow! What the hell is that? I don’t think I was more than 10 yrs old but that sure sounded bad to me. What the hell is a uterus? Did I have one of those? I lifted some heavy things. Was I going to lose something through my ass? Next time I saw my friends, I had to ask if any of them knew what the heck a uterus is. Well as it turned out we weren’t so up on the female anatomy as we thought we were. Sure we knew the important parts breast, butt, the female flower….you know all the stuff that mattered to us, but a uterus? And the fact that it might just “fall out”. I remember thinking that I was glad I was a guy cause it didn’t seem like much more than a good bowel movement was coming out of me.

So fast forward to the present. I find myself laughing today when I tell women at work not to lift heavy things because their uterus might fall out. They laugh and say that won’t happen, but I tell them I don’t want to be the one present to witness the event if it does! After all, am I the one that s going to have to have to pick it up, bag it and carry it to the hospital so they can put it back in? Hell I don’t think I have it in me toss it in my car and bring it with us. Its not like a finger that you can throw in a bag of ice and put it on the dashboard. If you witnessed your child’s birth than you know just how messy those things can be! Seriously, does it really “fall out”? I recently heard a story about a guy who pushed so hard during a visit to the john, that his intestine fell out. Really, a friend of mine drove him to the hospital and watched the doctor push it back in. Holy crap man!

So for future reference, don’t let your woman pick up heavy items.  Unless you have a pooper scooper or something else handy to pick up that uterus when it falls out you better carry those grocery bags from now on!

Just one man’s opinion!

The Regular Guy

Sand Bar Waterfront Restaurant, Brielle NJ

Friday, July 15th, 2011

When dining out, you always remember the best and the worst places you visit. The Sand Bar unfortunately falls under the latter of those two.

The Sand Bar overlooks a the Brielle Yacht Club Marina and if you are seated outside you can keep yourself busy people watching which might make you more forgiving of the less than average dishes served here.

On a recommendation by a friend, we made reservations for a Friday evening with hopes of enjoying the beautiful weather and a fresh fish dinner. The weather part worked out great but the fish half of the equation fell short of making the evening  one we would like to remember.

Both dishes, the Grilled Mahi with Pineapple Salsa( dinner special) and my Tuna Rockford (regular menu item) were overcooked and flavorless. The Mahi was especially disappointing because the salsa was so plain and lacking in freshness. It was almost as dry as the fish itself which if juicier, it could have provided necessary moisture for the Mahi. Adding some lime juice, tomatoes, fresh cilantro and maybe a little heat from jalapenos would kick the flavor up to where it could have made a difference, even with the overcooked fish. My Tuna, which was also grilled, is served with a mixture of sun dried tomatoes, asparagus,spinach and topped with Hollandaise sauce. I asked out of the added Hollandaise as I do not care for that particular sauce. The tuna, although pink inside, was dry and overcooked and the vegetables accompanying them did little to save the dish.

Being that both dishes needed help we asked the waitress if she could provide us with dressings that we could lace over top of the fish in hopes of saving the meal. The manager, Scott, approached us to ask if there was anything he could do to make the meal better. At this point we were not going to wait to have another dish cooked, and the fact that the dishes were so poorly dressed, we felt that we would just move on. We did feel that Scott could have offered to buy our drinks or dessert to help make the experience easier to accept.

It’s a shame that we had such a bad dinner because the Sand Bar’s open, airy and casual atmposhpere provides a nice environment to dine in. We sat upstairs where reservations are accepted, but you can dine downstairs where there is open seating and a bar.

One last item that needs to be pointed out is the area where the hostess greets you. On this particular evening there were two young women at the door greeting and seating patrons upon arrival. As we were making our way back down the stairs to the exit, one of the girls was sorting silverware and napkins while sitting on the stairway. Not exactly how I would like to see my fork and knife being handled after it has been through a sterilizing wash. It seems that management is not on top of their game if this is the norm for handling issues and staff.

Regular Guy Rating * *

Sand Bar Waterfront Restaurant

201 Union Lane, Brielle, NJ 08730

(732) 528-7750

sandbarrestaurant.com