What do you guys think?
Emotional cheating, ego boosting or something else?
An old girlfriend/ex-wife/gal-pal is constantly emailing or texting you just to stay in touch. Sheâ€™s told you in the past that she is unhappy with her current relationship, so you are flattered that she wants to lean on the â€œconnectionâ€ the two of you once had. You even enjoy hearing from her. (You get the feeling she might take it further if you would.)
But you wouldnâ€™t!! You are totally committed to and happy with your current relationship. Even so, the attention is nice and at times you still think about *her* and wonder, â€œWhat ifâ€¦?â€Â
1)Â Â Â Â Â Write back to her and continue to engage in *harmless* chatting?
2)Â Â Â Â Â Ignore her attempts to stay in touch?
3)Â Â Â Â Â Delete or block her email/phone number?
4)Â Â Â Â Â Ask her to stop contacting you?
5)Â Â Â Â Â Invite her to go out with you and your spouse/partner?
Â I expect to hear lots of â€œIt dependsâ€¦â€ on this one. Iâ€™m curious what those qualifiers would be.
Â Ladiesâ€” substitute boyfriend/ex and all the appropriate pronouns above and share your thoughts.
Well….it depends. :>)
Is this hypothetical?
I think you should ask your wife what she thinks and follow her recommendation.
This was posted by “She Says” editor Lea…to spark discussion. Rest assured the Regular Guy is not hypothesizing. 😉
It’s trouble anyway you look at it. If he has enough will power to stay away its better. At the very least he should tell her that this isn’t a good situation. For him to exchange thoughts, feelings and such with an ex( whatever she is),he’s just keeping a past door slightly open for any number of reasons, none of which will make his current relationship better. At some point one or both will probably fall into each others arms be it for comfort,intimacy or just for old times sake.
Men, especially, don’t fair well with “girl friends”. I seem to remember Billy Crystal making that perfectly clear. Some guys will tell you that’s not true but if shes even remotely attractive, he’s thought about her and him together. This is not to say that he will move on it but put a recovering alcoholic in a bar enough times and he will eventually break down and steal a sip.
If you are one of those women who’s man tells her he has “girl friends”, be wary. Remember the saying” Women need a reason, men just need a place.” He doesn’t have to be emotionally driven into her arms, he just needs an opportunity! Good luck ladies..
Just one man’s opinion..The Regular Guy
That was my point, Common Dude. If a guy asks his wife and she answers him honestly, that should be the end of it. Just politely tell the ex that it’s a bad idea and go forth knowing you did the right thing.
NO NO NO and NO. Women seem to be able to manipulation men to get what they want. Testostrone is elevated to its max every seven days then it dumps automatically in men. The cycle repeats itself our entire life. If men are not taken care off by their spouse, the temptation is overwhelming and it is so easy to be pulled into the evil-web of the other person. Always be polite, truthfully tell your wife that you have been contacted and you are telling the other person to please NOT contacted you again. Then tell your wife you have needs that you want only her to fulfill. Dr. John Gray, PHD (author of Men are from Mars, Women from Venus) just wrote a book about the hormones in men and women and how they affect us daily. Great and easy reading. I recommend you both read it.
Men who make decisions using the wrong head can easily be manipulated.
If you are in a good relationship, then discussing it with your current wife/girlfriend should got without saying. If you are reluctant about sharing this type of relationship (with the ex) then there is already an issue in your current relationship. I totally disagree with the “NO” statement. If the ex is a good friend, then what’s wrong with continuing the friendship?