Another Cheating Guy…

Posted on December 4, 2009 by slip60

So here we go again. Another cheating guy gets caught. I especially enjoy the famous ones, like Tiger Woods. It is always interesting to hear what excuse the “Celebrity Cheat” uses. Athletes especially have a corner on the market for piss poor excuses.

Tiger Woods, who crashes his SUV, now turns out to be a long time cheater who now says he is sorry for his “transgressions” and he promises to “be a better man”. I love this crap!!!

Just once, once, that’s all, I would love for a guy to come out and say what he really should say. He should come clean and say that he cheated because he wanted to! Just about every guy I know comes to a point in his relationship when he is faced with the option to cheat or not cheat. I especially love it when guys like Woods says he’s sorry after almost two years of doing it. He’s not sorry. He’s just sorry he got caught!! Just listen to his voice message he left his girlfriend about his wife being on to him and that she might call her, so she should change her voice mail message to throw the wife off the trail. Yeah, that sounds like a guy who is sorry. Sorry my ass. He did it and he enjoyed it and he would still be doing it now if he could.

As the term that is used so frequently states “Be A Man!”. Stand up in front of everyone and tell us what we as men know already, that the temptation was too great and you were weak. That you knew exactly what you were doing and enjoyed it. That things at home probably weren’t what they used to be so you strayed. That it was all about the sex ( well at first it probably was). Just one time I want to here a guy say that he did it and he isn’t sorry and that its part of life that sometimes we do things that hurt other people but we do them anyway because it makes us happy. Sure we don’t cheat to hurt the one we are with but truthfully, we are being selfish and looking out for ourselves when we cheat. We do what feels right at the moment and then get caught up in the whole thing when it takes on a life of its own.

Personally I couldn’t do it. It would take to much energy to maintain a lie and worse yet, it is cruel to mislead a woman who probably loves and trusts me. Sure every guy thinks about cheating as I am sure many women do too. The problem with being a  guy is, like I said in my earlier posts, we have this “extra chip” in our makeup that keeps sex on our mind “all the time”. There just isn’t a way to do away with the thoughts of sex that pass through our mind too many times a day (for most women to believe). I think its a curse to be this way. It really isn’t fun and it takes up so much time in your life that eventually some guys like Woods, give in to the temptation.

I have always believed that given the right opportunity, most men would cheat even though they loved their wife ( girlfriend). It is rarely about the relationship they are in that causes them to cheat. How many times do you hear about some couple you know that appear happy, act happy and the wife thinks they are happy, but the husband cheats.

Men cheat for the thrill and women cheat because they no longer get what they are looking for from their husband ( boyfriend). I don’t mean this as absolute but it holds true most of the time. And when I say a woman cheats because she no longer gets what she wants, I don’t mean material things. I mean love, affection, attention, trust and respect from the person she needs it from. I admire women for that reason.

The one other problem I have with all of this is the other woman. Whats her deal? She’s a woman, so she knows what that would do to the mans wife if she found out. Are women really that way towards each other. On one hand they stand together in their beliefs about how men are but on the other hand they stab their on kind in the back the first chance they get. And the worse ones are like Wood’s girl, who saved pictures and recordings of the affair to use later on as a weapon for money or notoriety.

Some guy’s like Woods are real idiots. How can any man put himself in a position such as that when he has so much to lose? I know how strong the urges get to cheat but they can be controlled, especially when like Woods, everyone is going to get a piece of you because of this. Just think about all the people that are going to have a hand in his pocket now.

That’s why I say if you get caught, fess up and spill the beans. Tell us all how it really went down. Tell us why you keep going back for more with that girlfriend . Every guy out here wants the truth. We’re tired of the freakin’ attorney driven answers you lay on the press. Stand up tough guy and spit it out! Tell the truth and no one can hold anything against you or come out to the press with pictures to prove you lie. Maybe we have to wait until the dust clears, the wife leaves you, and you write the book!! Yeah that’s probably it (see Andre Agassi, Jose Canseco etc..) because your going to need some way to make that money back!

The Regular Guy…

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Boca Chica, Manhattan NY

Posted on November 16, 2009 by slip60

Every so often you unexpectedly find a place that is everything you love about food. Atmosphere, music, wait staff, menu, drinks and so on and so on. Boca Chica is one of those places for me.

My wife has friends from New York who we very rarely see anymore so this trip was about getting together. One of her friends happened to mention this place she likes and recommended that we go there for dinner.

Boca Chica, ( I believe translates loosely into “sweet girl”), is very casual and hip. The music plays almost too loud for a restaurant but the place hops so you can understand why the loud tunes. Very colorful and with a Spanish/ south American / Mexican /Latino flair which makes me really comfortable and anxious to try the food.

When you are first seated, you are immediately served a sample plate of fried plantain chips with a spicy black bean dip. Not nearly enough to satisfy your cravings, but just enough for you to be tempted to order up a side to wash down your drinks. While I am on drinks, I love a good Mojito and for the record, this was not one of them. Tasty yes, but too too much ice and not enough Mojito, especially for the $8 price tag.

Boca Chica’s menu is loaded with ethnic favorites like chimichurri, plantains, tostones, yucca fries and the like. When I saw the Skirt Steak with chimichurri, rice and black beans, I was hooked. Ordered up with a side of plantains and yucca fries, I was set for the night. My wife ordered a grilled pork chop dinner with coconut mashed sweet potatoes and some crazy salsa that I can’t recall what the ingredients are but it was  outstanding. The portions are excellent and almost too much to finish but I worked hard to get it done never the less.

My steak was cooked perfectly as were all the side dishes. The slaw that they serve with most every dish tasted like jicama and was very good.My wife’s dinner was equally good and too much for her to finish so we left with the doggie bag.

All in all the dinner experience was better than I could have imagined and it will definitely be on my list of stops next time we return to the “City”.

Regular Guy rating  * * * *

Boca Chica

1st ave and 1st street

Manhattan NY

Reservations accepted.

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Do you hear me????

Posted on October 15, 2009 by slip60

I don’t talk much. Some people think I am aloof. Most people think I am in a bad mood. Alot of people think I don’t like them. Truth is, I don’t say much unless I feel it nescessary and quite frankly, no one usually cares enough to listen anyway!!!!

I have learned in my life that it is better to be a good listerner than it is to be a good talker. I have learned more listening than I ever will from talking. The problem is most people today don’t find anyone interesting enough to listen to before they talk.

We have become a society of people who care more about what they have to say than what the the other person does. I find it not only rude but frustrating.

The very worse case I have witnessed recently came at a training seminar I attended for Mediation. A woman therapist spoke for approximately 30 minutes and then gave the floor to the next speaker. During the time that the gentleman was speaking, no less than five times did she interrupt him to give her opinion. At one point she stole the floor from him. This woman had her own agenda and she was going to push it all day no matter whose turn it was to speak.

I come from a family of what Seinfeld would probably call “over-talkers”. You know them as the friend who never lets you finish a sentence. Or the employee who always finishes your sentence for you and doesn’t come close to what you were trying to say.

When did this happen. As a kid I would be scolded for such rude behavior and now it is commonly accepted. It is a standing joke between two friends of mine and myself, how they never let me finish a sentence. Worse yet is when they ask me a question and don’t bother to listen to the answer but turn away in the middle of it. My wife and I now continue talking to people who look away but we change the subject to something tragic like ” and then I cut my finger to the bone and had to have it stitched and blah blah”. At some point the person usually turns their attention back to us  without a clue as to what we are talking about. Pretty funny stuff.

So what is it with people that can’t shut their pie hole long enough for someone to answer their question? What makes people talk over someone in conversation? I think the reason is two fold. First, most people tell me that they think they will forget what they are going to say next so they blurt it out. Second, they lost their ability to listen. Everyone is in such a rush today that taking time to listen to someone slows their day down. They already know what you are going to say so why not move on. Or better yet, they have a similar story that they can’t wait to tell you. Another Seinfeld moment. “the one upper”. Oh yeah everyone knows one of these people. Always found the blouse cheaper, or their kid gets better grades, or they have a different model television that is better than yours.Anything you say they have a story just like it but better.At least they think its better.

So everyone just chill! Believe it or not, if you take the time to listen to what someone else has  to say you might find what you think you wanted to say might change.And maybe you just may learn something about that person you didn’t know.

I love to listen. I love to listen because no one else is and I hear everything. Being a Mediator, I do however have an unfair advantage,. Yes, being a Mediator I am trained to listen to what people have to say. That is how I have become so quiet and such a good listener. I am grateful for that training because people say very interesting things if you let them. And, if you really listen to people they will notice and pay more attention to what you have to say when it’s your turn to speak.

The best thing about not talking so much is that people notice. As I said in my opening paragraph, they form all sorts of ideas about me because I don’t talk as much as they think I should. Maybe they get some bad ideas about me but when I do talk, most of them listen very carefully. Probably because they are in shock when I do. Plus not talking so much keeps them guessing about what I am really like. It sort of gives me the upper hand in a weird way.  This way I figure that when I do say something maybe, just maybe,they will listen……Can you hear me now????

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Life really is short….

Posted on October 13, 2009 by slip60

Today was supposed to be a day of friends and riding motorcycles. Planned for just a week or so and anxious to get one of the last good days for riding in, we all met on time and were ready to roll. Today, as it turned out, was the saddest day of my life.

People are always saying how short life is. How your here one day and gone the next. How many times have we heard this and how many times do you really pay attention or understand  what that means. Today I found out exactly what it means….

The day started out great. The weather was just what we expected, cool and clear and lots of sunshine. The eight of us met early and started out for Frenchtown NJ, which is a scenic ride along the Delaware River. Everything was going fine, and then it happened.

From my mirror I could see the motorcycle handlebars shaking back and forth and the bike veering out of control. The next thing I remember is a cloud of dust and the bike crashing into the guardrail. It was all, as they say, surreal. I remember screaming “Oh my God, he’s going to crash” or maybe I was thinking it. I can’t remember the details because it seemed like ten minutes in the making but only seconds in reality. A chill came over me instantly and instinct took over. I remember looking again in my mirror to see that the person behind me was aware that I was stopping my bike. Everything happens so fast and yet it seems as though you are watching it through someone else’s eyes.

I was the second person to reach him. My Uncle was the first. We stood there in disbelief that this was happening but remained as calm as possible and checked to see if he had a pulse. His body laid there limp and lifeless, one leg over the guardrail and one twisted under his body. He wasn’t bleeding except for the small amount that exited his mouth with his last breath.

I will never be able to explain how this feels. I have played it over and over in my head for what seems to be a hundred times. My eyes began to tear up as I stood there and waited for the Police and EMT’s. My Uncle came to me and hugged me. I am crying now as I write this.

This man, who I and most of the six other guys, just met today, had died before our eyes. Five minutes earlier we shared words at a gas station and now he was gone. As I stood there over him, I couldn’t help but think how it could have been any one of us that this happened to. I also felt some relief that it wasn’t because I don’t know how I could have kept it together if it had been. I thought about how his family would feel when they learned that he wouldn’t be coming home. How life was taken from him in an instant and he never got the chance to say  good bye to the people he cared about. How he died in front of seven guys he hardly knew but whose lives would be forever changed because of it.

We were all so shaken up, some including me, more than others but as the day progressed it was very evident that we had all been changed by this. The sight replays over and over in my mind and the thoughts of how ” he was here five minutes earlier” makes it harder to comprehend. It is now clear to me what that phrase means. The impact from witnessing it makes me understand just how fast life can be taken away from a person. Even though I was there I feel as if I had just watched a movie and that it couldn’t have happened. We don’t know what happened to him but we all believe that he had a heart attack or stroke and died before his bike crashed. The way in which his bike traveled and with no skid marks, we could only surmise that he was unconscious when he lost control. Looking back on it all, it was probably the best thing that he was because he didn’t feel a thing.

I didn’t know him at all and maybe in some way it is better that I didn’t, but I do feel a need  to say goodbye to him. I will make the effort to be at his funeral so I can do just that. I am not a religious person although I do believe in God and Jesus Christ so tonight I will pray for him and his family.

After witnessing this, I understand how precious life is and just how fast it can be taken away. I hope that I can take something positive from this experience and make the best of the life I have. I hope that this image stays with me for life so that I am reminded everyday how lucky I am to have made it this far. And lastly I hope that he didn’t die for nothing but that everyone who was there today realizes just how short life really is…….

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My Playlist

Posted on October 6, 2009 by slip60

2009

October

6- Good Morning Starshine- Oliver

7- Barely Breathing- Duncan Shiek

8- Emotional Rescue – Rolling Stones

9- Move it on Over- George Thorogood

10- Some Girls – Rod Stewart

11- When I ruled the World- Coldplay

14- Heard it in a Love song- Marshall Tucker Band

15- Yah mo B there- Michael MacDonald

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Amore

Posted on August 13, 2009 by slip60

What is love and can it exist today?

Everyone seems to be in search of love. From the time we are young we are told that if we do the right things, we will find a girl who loves us and we will marry her, have a family and live a happy life. This is how a happy life is portrayed to most men and women from the time they are able to understand the birds and the bees.

Why is it then that we live in a society of people who have made divorce law a career choice for a vast amount of attorneys? Everything points to marriage as a bad option for a happy life. After all, over fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. And if you think those odds are bad, second marriage divorces are over seventy five percent.

So why does love, if we finally find it, end so badly? Why do people lose the love they once had? Keeping it simple, I say it is because generally, we are selfish people. Most young people who get married now don’t know how to not be selfish. Today people are all about garnering material things. So much so that we have created a nation in debt, just so we can drive a nicer car than we can afford and feel good for the moment. Going into a marriage after living a life about “me” is a hard thing to change. Marriage is supposed to be about “us,” not “me”. The hard part about love is putting the other person first, not once in awhile but all the time. Being selfish, that’s just not something you can do and expect a long loving relationship. Just think about it for a minute. If each person considered their spouses feelings and needs before acting on something, it would make for a much better marriage. Just that one thing can change the whole marriage. And this is something that you have to be conscience of from the beginning and never let it slip away. It sounds crazy but take the selfishness out of the marriage and it removes most problems.

People lose the love they had because they stopped thinking about how to keep it. Again, this is something that has to be worked on. I once heard a saying that went like this. “If you want a happy marriage, you need to have a happy wife”. In other words fellas, do whatever it takes to make your wife happy and you will find happiness yourself. If you do all the little things like open doors, pull out chairs, save the last cookie for her, remember things she thinks you will forget, kiss her goodnight, walk next to her not in front of her, sit next to her in restaurants instead of across from her and hold her hand when she is near, she will “feel” how much you love her and return that love a hundred fold . You get what you give in life and no more so then in a marriage.

Too many of my friends have lost that love they once had with their wives and once lost it is extremely hard to rekindle. It takes double the effort because both people have forgotten what got them there. If you have children, that effort is even harder to maintain. Always the excuse that the kids come first. It wasn’t always that way when you first married but now it’s the way it is, or so everyone says. If you give into that, then your marriage is doomed. So many men have taken the back seat to their kids when they once were number one in the wife’s world. This just might be the reason so many men cheat. You can’t expect a man to come second to his kids for too long before he starts reaching out for what is missing at home. This is why it’s so important for couples to maintain the things they did when they met, when they were both the most important thing to each other.

Love doesn’t come easy and when it does, its harder to maintain. Love hits you like a brick but the mark won’t last long without a few stone throws to remind you how good it is. Love, like anything else in life that’s worth something, takes effort. That effort should be embraced and cherished because when you have love it makes it easier to deal with the terrible things we  face everyday. There isn’t a secret to what makes love last, its just how bad you want it to.

There are too many people, especially women,  who think they are in love. Everyone knows  someone like that. They tell you that they stay in a bad relationship because they love that person. They stay and think that their love can change that person, make them see the light. Wake up, people don’t change unless they want to. “A zebra can’t change his stripes”. I made that mistake once and my marriage ended in divorce. I saw the signs before getting married, but chose to ignore them. I believed that she would change after she saw how great our life could be. I was wrong and I wouldn’t listen to anyone who tried to tell me so. Get over it and move on. You deserve better. If a man loves a woman, he will tear down walls to get to her, and he will never take advantage of her love. Never. Be honest to yourself and find someone who is right for you.

On another note, you changing might be the difference in finding love. Love doesn’t always find you on your doorstep. Sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go out and find it. I know two women about thirty seven years old who have been searching for love since I met them some three years ago. It is constantly on their minds that they can not find Mr. Right. My advice to them has always been to move away to a new life. The person they are looking for isn’t in their neighborhood. My wife, changed her life and found me. She got tired of her life the way it was and figured she would never find the right guy while doing the same old things. She picked up, left her job, and moved out of state to start a new life. Less than two years later she met me and we married with in six months. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to meet the right Regular Guy!!!

Love is a strange thing. People who don’t have it, constantly search it out while people who found it don’t know how to keep it. If your a Regular Guy and want love to last, make an effort to keep it alive. Don’t give up so fast on love, because when love is right, it is your greatest chance for a healthy and long life.

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Friends

Posted on July 23, 2009 by slip60

I consider myself a pretty easy and outgoing guy, outside of work , that is. All things considered though , I don’t have many friends. I have had a lot of “friends” over the course of my life, but they never really seem to stick around.

Lets start with when we are young, say grade school age. How many friends do you have that stuck around since you were between thirteen and seventeen? Me, I don’t have any. I had at least 25 “friends” from my school days, two of which I considered brothers I never had. Those two were the toughest to lose. How about between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five? Most of us just started working or went to college during these years. I have one friend that stayed in my life since then. One other who stayed “friends” for some twenty years,  just decided one day he had enough and never called again. How can someone just walk away after so many years and not even wonder  how the other person is doing,  and just call .

After twenty-five it gets hard to meet new friends. Oh yeah we meet alot of guys from work or our kids father’s, or our wives friend’s husbands but they rarely amount to much. “True”, and I’ll say it again, “true” friends are extremely hard to find and even harder to keep.

What is it with guys and friendships? It doesn’t seem to work for us as much as it does with women.It seems to me that women go out of their way to hold on to friends , whereas men always seem to have a reason why they can’t just “get together “anymore. And not even that it’s  hard to get together but they can’t seem to tell you to your face that they have something else they would rather do. It’s always “I’ll let you know tomorrow ” but tomorrow never comes. I hear those words now and I start making other plans.

Probably the worst case of a bad friend is when he meets a girl. He no longer can say yes or no to any plans you might have because he’s scared to say yes without knowing how his girl will react. Or maybe he’s just afraid to do things without her because he feels she will do things with out him too. That’s the “insecure friend”. Say goodbye to him until she leaves him for someone else. Why do men suddenly turn into wimps when they meet a girl? Do women really have this strange mystical power over us? I do not buy into it and here’s why. The same guy who used to hang out with you meets this wonderful young lady and so starts his disappearing act. At first you guys still hang out most of the time, and then as double dates. Then you start noticing he always has something to do. His life just got so filled up he can’t find the time to hang out and watch a game. So after years of this you give up and look in another direction. But  just as you give up here comes Joe friend again. Now he’s married and he has a couple of kids that are older and he can’t stand being in the house anymore . His wife’s a nag and his kids don’t even pay attention to him unless they need something, like money. So now he’s calling you all the time and trying to hang out. So you see, women don’t have pixie dust, it’s men who somehow can’t give a shit about friendships unless it is convenient or self serving.

I do however notice a very strange thing about men and friendships. Men can go for ten years without seeing you, then meet up with you some day and talk like it was yesterday that you last hung out. They will go on and on about how it used to be and  how great those days were, and then comes the killer ending. ” We have to get together some time”  or “its been too long and we can’t let this happen again”. You know right there…it’s the kiss of death. You aren’t going to see this bum for another ten years.

What does it really take to have a friendship?  I have a very simple idea of what makes a good friend. Just call me. That’s it, plain and simple. Just call me every month or so and say hello. Not much huh? You know what happens when friends call each other? Things happen! Thats right, things happen. Just by chance something you talk about will lead to a get together or a lending of the hand to help move a piece of furniture. That’s all it really takes to keep a friendship alive. Think about all the friends you had in your life and how many of them would still be a part of it , if only they called you. I think about it all the time and it is the saddest part of my life. Losing my friends is the saddest part of my life.

I always believed that true friends were hard to find and that I would do my best to preserve a friendship. But I also learned that just one persons attempts will not keep a friendship intact. At some point you will concede and the friendship will end, because you were the only one in it.

I am happy to say that not all friendships end a ghastly death. I do have a few close ones that  weathered the storm over the years and came out intact. Funny as it may be, my closest friends all live either an hour or hundreds of miles away. We have worked at staying friends no matter how distant we are from each other. We don’t see each other much but we do phone each other  all the time. And that is, as I said earlier, the key to a lasting and true friendship. Hard to believe that with all the cell phones we have today some of us still can’t find the time to just pick up the phone and say “hello my friend, hello….”

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How I lost my smile…

Posted on July 17, 2009 by slip60

I wake up most days thinking that I will relive the last day over again. Just like in Ground Hog day, the movie, where Bill Murray awakes each day to the same thing over and over again. There’s a moral there somewhere but I haven’t found it yet.

I used to be a very happy guy. Not that I am not basically happy but I am just not the same guy I used to be. Somewhere during the last five years I lost my smile. I know this because I am constantly reminded of it by people who say ” smile, you never smile” One time while eating breakfast alone in a restaurant, the waitress asked me if I was okay because I looked sad. That was a bad day for me because it was then that I knew I lost my smile.

How did I lose it? I believe that my job has taken it from me. I can’t find much to be happy about at work anymore. This is terrible because I once loved my job.I began in 1983 when I was just 22 years old and I thought I had the world by the balls. How many 22 year olds had a chance at their own business? I was so lucky or so I thought back then. Young and dumb, is what I was.

Today after years of just waiting for things to get better,  I have given up. It took me a long time to realize that I was different from the people that worked for me. Its like I am from a different planet. I am just so far ahead of everyone that it frustrates me that they can’t grasp what I want them to do. There are three kinds of people in this world. People who can, people who can’t and people who won’t. In my place, there are the latter two, and then there is me. I am the only person who can do. This puts me in a very stressful position where as I am the only one I can depend on. It turns out that after all these years I have never had anyone who I can turn to for help, advice, opinions or answers. Having no one to learn from or share my problems with has lead me to the depressed state that I now reside in.

I know that I am depressed. I can tell because everything has now become a problem. Little things that are so trivial just set me off. I wake up just waiting for the first disappointing thing to happen to me. I have had some help in getting here. I walk into work and I am hit with problems before anyone says good morning to me. Almost on a regular basis.That can wear you out very fast.

Depression, once in it, is hard to shake. I have my moments where I feel really good, and it is very rarely while at work. I can still find my smile when I am with my wife, on my motorcycle or with my friends. And thank God I can still get a solid nights sleep. A lot of my depression stems from me being the one that so many people rely on to take care of them. Whether it be at work, or that my parents rely on me to keep the business going, or at home where I do everything to make sure we are safe and secure for our future. It has become too overwhelming to handle on my own but everyone who asks” what can I do to help:” never listens to my response or cares enough to follow through on my requests. The part that they ask but never help is worse than the fact that I have all the responsibility.

So where does this leave me. I am sad most days. I am tired and I can’t stop thinking about how I feel. I can understand how many men run away.  I sometimes picture myself on my motorcycle riding away from here never to return. Not telling anyone because no one really cares or they would be listening to me now, while I have been crying out for help.

My friend is in a bad place right now. It’s almost funny in a sense because as we talked about how he is feeling I was able to relate to him. I think I finally found someone who feels the same way I do although we have demons of a different sort. Listening to him, is like hearing the voices in my head. Things that I thought were only happening to me are happening to him too. The scary part is I am worried about him. He doesn’t sound well and I am concerned that no one is listening to him enough to realize he is in trouble. I hope you are reading this and know that I am there for you, anytime you need me. I can understand your frustration with not being able to fix “this”. I have suffered that feeling for too many years now. Being a man we are used to fixing things and not being able to fix ourselves is a hard pill to swallow. Thinking about it all the time only makes it harder to ” fix”. You told me I need to live in the moment and I understand that this is important but as you know its not an easy state to attain.

Luckily, in the past , I have been able to “snap out of it” but these days it seems to get harder to do. I know what ails me but I can not reach for the fix right now. At some point though, I believe I will.

My smile is a good one. I have seen it and when it shows itself, it works fine. I like to smile so I know that its still in me to do so. I am tired of feeling so sad and depressed. It takes a lot out of me and it sucks. Even though everyday seems like  “Ground Hog’s day”, I am happy to awake and to have the chance that this day might be the one when things change. I won’t give up. I know that I will find a way out of this into a better place. I know my smile and it’s out there waiting for me on a beach at the foot of the waves, grinning ear to ear……….

The Regular Guy

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I am not Homer Simpson!!!

Posted on July 7, 2009 by slip60

Robert Young was an actor who played a father in a television show aptly named “Father Knows Best”. Growing up I watched some of the episodes in rerun and thought they were pretty funny. I also didn’t see anything wrong in this fathers approach to raising his children. In today’s world Robert Young’s character would be hard to find.

Television today portrays men as murderer’s, rapists, and cheats. Just check out the Lifetime channel for proof. Today’s father’s aren’t given much of a break either. In fact most of today’s fathers are shown as bubbling idiots and the brunt of most jokes. Find me a handful of television dads that are portrayed as smart, caring and in control and I will show you a hundred that are more in line with Homer Simpson and Al Bundy!

I have a problem with the way men and particularly fathers are not getting a fair shake in today’s world. I have, over the past twenty years, given my time as a volunteer, to help fathers get through the sad reality of divorce. I have devoted thousands of hours to help keep caring fathers in their children’s lives. I fully understand that divorce is rarely one person’s fault, as I too am divorced with a child. I know how difficult it is during and after divorce, for a man who wants to remain in his child’s life. After all, isn’t everything we see on television about Deadbeat Dads, husbands that cheat and men who run away? I am here to tell you, that is not the majority of men.

Deadbeat Dad. What does that phrase imply? Ask anyone and they will tell you that is a father who doesn’t pay his child support. Did you ever hear the term Deadbeat Mom? I know I never did. They just don’t exist do they? Lets face it, there are a lot of fathers who probably fit that term, but there are a hell of a lot more dad’s that fight just to see their kids, and they have to deal with people labeling them deadbeats because that’s how television portrays us.

So how did fathers go from such respectable men like Robert Young, Ward Cleaver, and Fred McMurray to losers like they are today? Did men really create this mess or were we dealt a bad hand? After all it is partly men who write, produce and create these televison dad’s as we know them now. Is it just that they can’t come up with a strong male parent who is loved and respected by their kids or have we all just given up.

I know that I have a lot to offer my child. I know that I can share things with her that her mom can not. I know that time lost now with my child can never be replaced. I know that lack of a father in a household is devastating on a child’s future, especially a boys. I know that men are just as capable of raising a child as a woman is. I know that real fathers are better than television fathers, because my friends dad’s were never idiots or fools or scammed by their kid’s. And I know, that as a man and a father, that I will never allow my child to believe for a moment, that her father is isn’t the single most important male influence in her life.

I say the Robert Young’s are still around, but we don’t get to hear from them too often. I say that if you are a Robert Young, let others know. Let others know, including your children, that you are not that idiot Simpson and teach them about what fathers are really like. My dad was always larger than life to me. When he walked into the room it was like everything slowed down. I always had a feeling that something special might happen when he was around and that I should pay attention. Maybe he quietly demanded that of us. Maybe it was just the awe I felt in his presence. Whatever it was it still exists today between him and I, and I wouldn’t want it ay other way. He is what a father should be. He showed me, what a father should be and that’s why I am so upset with how things have turned out …..

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Charlie’s Angel no more…

Posted on July 6, 2009 by slip60

I hope that I am not coming off as being callous but why couldn’t Michael Jackson pass on one week later? Maybe if Michael had died a different week, Farrah Fawcett’s death would have gotten more attention.

I can’t remember just when it was that I began to like Farrah Fawcett. It definitely wasn’t during her short stint on Charlies Angel’s. And believe it or not, it wasn’t from owning that poster of hers, because I didn’t have a copy. I think it might have been when she turned fifty. A friend of mine bought me a copy of her Playboy video for my birthday. What a guy huh? Yeah that’s probably when I began to like Farrah Fawcett.

I know I sound just like a guy because I chose that moment in time, being it was Playboy and all, but something struck me about her that hadn’t before. She seemed real to me. Not like Pamela Lee Anderson, who was always so fake looking. Farrah just had something about her that made you think she was just a regular woman. The only other celebrity woman I can remember thinking the same way about was Cindy Crawford.

Even though that video was very corny and she came off as whiny and a little ditsy at times, she did seem to be real. Getting past her good looks you could see why so many people admired and followed her career. She definitely came off as a down to earth woman and someone who you could probably approach and hold a conversation with.

When I first heard that Farrah was sick with incurable Cancer, I was really taken back by it. After seeing her television special about her battle with the disease, I felt even worse. I don’t know what the connection is with Farrah but her life left a mark on mine.

The reason I said what I did about Micheal Jackson earlier, was because his death overshadowed Farrahs and she never got the attention that she deserved. After showing us just how horrible Cancer is and how she fought valiantly to the end, she deserved more in death. Maybe this sounds a little strange because after reading this I thought so too, but it seems like everything that happened to Michael Jackson he brought on himself. Farrah just happened to catch a bad break and in death had to take a back seat to a talented yet freakish superstar.

Maybe others out there will read this and agree with me. Maybe in some strange way Farrah affected them in a way they can’t explain either.Maybe this is just my way of recognizing Farrah’s life and death, and what she meant to me…..

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